Raw thoughts on justice that might be flawed.

Some weird stuff has been going on lately. For whatever reason, I’ve been talking to a lot of Republican christians — not conservatives, just totally Republican, and totally believe in the Republican party and the Iraq war and torture and the death penalty. I feel so weird when I talk to them, because all of them look at me (and many have said out loud), “oh, he’s just young, and wrong.” I bring up Jesus and they bring up the philistines, they bring up God’s wrath, which I do believe He has, and they bring up and eye for an eye and “Justice”. I don’t know how to feel. At first those thoughts disgust me. What the hell is justice when you’re a christian? Here’s the thing I’ve realized through talking to them (and they are very nice people, by the way, all of the ones I know): This is not a christian government, and it will never be a christian government. This is pseudo-christianity; this is a “moral” government, and that is all, because a truly christian nation (which I’ve been crying out for in my head) would not be a very good nation at all, because it makes for horrible government. It would Love its enemies; what nation does that? It would have to humble itself before others, becoming a martyr to the reality of this world — I’m expecting this country to be Jesus, for God’s sake (ha?). What pisses me off is christian Republicans claiming it is Jesus.

I want to say to them curse words, which I don’t feel comfortable saying because it’s unhelpful, but that’s the anger I feel about it. This country is not Jesus, this country is just a piece of land with a government on top of it which, thanks to years and years of fighting for it, has freedom, which is being wasted by most everyone including myself, and I have no idea how to change that, how to care about freedom, when I don’t care about winning. That’s all it is to them, — I’m angry okay? — many many of these people, when I mention, in regards to torture, Jesus, and how He would have us love them to change them, and however ineffective that might be in finding information about attacks, that’s Jesus, and they say,

“You Gotta Pick A Side, Man, you gotta pick a side.” Why? Why!? I don’t care about sides! I care about people dying, yes!, but fuck!…what is Justice? With the apparent coming of our redeemer and savior, a man who took the wrath of God onto Himself for us, Is That Justice? That we don’t get what we deserve? How the hell, ahh!, — I am torn right now, because in a way, they have a good point. In this world, there are people that do bad things – disregarding Iraq — (and I’m sorry for cussing) — and it’s not all black and white.

And it’s so easy for me to put on the black-and-white glasses. This one woman told me I “wear rose-colored glasses” because of my idealistic thoughts on being like Jesus — what the hell is christianity then? I am so confused,

I’m blind. At least I let things effect me, I let conversations intrude my comfortable opinions, I try to see both sides, and they never, I don’t think, ever try to see mine.

Torture is not right. But what about the 10,000 people it could save? Is Jesus for torture? No, but He also was never involved in politics, because politics are not based on God, but on the world’s declarations of right and wrong. This country has had a lot of christians try and take it over. Jesus is not for conquering countries, but hearts.

Countries will always war, man will always fight, but christians are supposed to be different. While the world fights, you love. And if you don’t love, pray to love. That’s who you are. Stop acting like you have a right to pass judgment when judgment has passed over you. The kingdom of God enters from within through love and spreads outward, while the kingdom of man tries to break through fortified walls with bombs, shock and awe, hatred, and fear. You win a lover over by loving them, not beating them.

After I wrote this, I imed my friend, and she said something smart:

“Well… I think it is very important to recognize that Christianity is about mercy and our common depravity, but we must always stand up for the poor and those unjustly imprisoned, tortured or persecuted. I would disagree with torturing in order to gain info — you would have to be ABSOLUTELY, 100% sure that the person had the information you needed. And if you were… and the information would save 1,000’s of people… then honestly I don’t know.

But that isn’t about justice as much as about saving lives.”