I’m talking to You.

I don’t know what’s been going on lately. All I remember is I’ve been getting annoyed a lot easier these days, and I’ve been less likely to realize my being wrong in a situation. My contacts actually make my eyes dry, so I scowl a lot more with them on.

I haven’t been sleeping well either. I wake up in the middle of the night with my back aching, I think from when I fell off the motorcycle that one time.

One good thing. (I don’t mean that. I’ve been given so many good things; a new life, etcetera.)

One thing that made me happy is Sarah called me today, and she was crying. I love her.

I wear this stupid “ONE” bracelet, I don’t know why. Yes I care about AIDS and poverty, I do, but what does a bracelet mean? “Just so you know, I mean well.”

I tried wearing a cross for a night, outside the shirt. I went through a whole phase where I was trying to figure out how to pronounce myself as a Christian who loves, who realizes that it’s not his job to judge or change people, but only to be a light in the darkness, as they say.

Before that I went through a judgemental phase, trying to change people. I talked to Bo about it, as he was there when I had a worst example of this happening, I told him the light thing. He said, “well, you’re being a light, but it’s more like a flashlight, and you’re shining it in people’s eyes.”

I read a book, also, that talked about the so-called “love” of Christians, who in reality are conditional. “Accept Jesus and we will love you.” I am not Jesus. I am not God. I’m you. I’m no better than you.

I mean that.

I’m human and I will love you to the best of my wounded ability.

God has blessed you already, when will you thank Him?