Not to hurt you.

I’ve been buying a lot of scratch-off lottery tickets lately, this one that (if you win, of course) pays you $5,ooo, A Month, for twenty. Years. (If you win.)

That’s what I play, that’s $60,000 a year doing nothing!, that’s just to be middle class!, that’s what I did.

I got addicted, I didn’t know it, and then today I added up all the money I’ve spent compared to all the money I’ve gained.

Whatever I’ve won, double it for the money I’ve lost.

And Just For The Feeling Of Winning.

She went over to Mike’s today, she told me she would break up with him Sunday, and he asked for another week, and she gave it to him.

He’s gotten sick, something with his heart I believe, and I think it’s starting to change hers. (Heart, that is.)

And I called her after she was supposed to call me, and she’d gone out with Mike, without calling me, when she was supposed to go out with me.

Her sister’s logic was that she’s always done it to everyone else for me, and that, I guess that’s it.

But She’s Doing It To Me Now.

James told me I should stop now while I can, I should cut my losses.

(Scratch-off–wise.)

Maybe God’s telling me in a different way. (Or maybe she is.)