After word.

Look I’m in love with Jenn Dean, and if you have a problem with it, then beat me up. Please. Because I Love her I do, and,

Just beat me up.

And go fuck yourself. Because I hate me.

And she is worth more than anything.

And I love God, and I feel stupid. I always feel stupid tonight.

And I think God really works.

I don’t know where he is.

Really cool, Jenn, the other day, had a song she liked, and I’ll post it here, and she knows God.

(She knows something’s that no one else does, did you know that?)

Here we go:

When I am older than these small goddamned hills and there’s no reason for my mind to be still —

Oh! How I’ll feel like a beautiful child. (Such a beautiful child again.)

When I have finally found my room filled with toys (be banging on my crib excited by noise) —

Oh! How I’ll Feel like a beautiful child, Such a Beautiful Child Again:

And when there’s nothing to gain, Or
bring
me
pain, or

pin
the
blame

On you or myself

And when they finally fall! These wailing walls
and burdened crosses
God’s twilights and all.

How I’ll feel like a beautiful child

Such a beautiful child again.

And I love you so much Jen. This has been a good night for me, I hope you feel damn better.

Bye. (Bye.)