I am focused. And I have an ugly afro.

This is one of those times when I’d feel better about my mood if I had shorter hair.

I feel stupid, and cliché (I cannot forget that) but I feel like a fuckin’ stone. I feel hardened, I feel like Jello that’s been left out too long, and it’s got that disgusting, like, soft shell on top of it, no one wants to touch that and I’m so, Fucking, jello-y inside.

I am fucking soft.

And no one sees it anymore, they see what I used to be, before I had to go and lose all fucking innocence, when I fucking. Grew up?, I didn’t, but I feel STUPID.

I don’t know. I know I didn’t grow up, but something did happen, something did change, and no one wants to see that Jon. Well, I don’t know if they do. No one wants to see Jon in the first place, anyway, so, and that’s, you know, totally my fault, I disappeared when I changed, and I’m talking too long.

I miss reading dj_johnnyquest, I miss seeing little things in life and being happy about them, I miss always

Thinking everything was great.

I hate this entry.

It was so good, and I ruined it with my stupid, stupid trying-too-hard to cry.

To get something out, to just get something in here.

I want to feel like people know me again. Fuck acting. And fuck you Mike. And fuck everyone I’ve fucked over.

All I did, was Fuck My Self.