I don’t tell myself this. I feel this.

Let’s be honest here: she came out wearing a skimpy(er) outfit and I thought that meant something. She smelled nice, and I thought that meant something (it did for him, for God’s sake).

(And when a porn is filmed in the woods, it’s not to be sexy, it’s because it’s cheap. Accept that fact, masturbators.)

I thought I had a chance, and I noticed she never touches me. Then Mike came around and she touched him. Contact. Mmm. With the females.

So I asked her if she liked me (just before I left). She said no. Ouch (just a prick). Then I brought up the fact that I noticed her flirting with him and (stupidly) asked if she was more attracted to him than I.

Paraphrasing: sexually, yes. And me being me, it felt like she was telling me I was nothing just ugly, ya hear? Thank you, a lot.

Anyway. I felt sad, almost enough to cry to myself, but I’m okay now.

Also, the reason I haven’t been writing as of late is I’m collecting ideas to put in my film, different things that could make a story, etc. And a lot of them were coming from that girl. Echmuygon. A new word by Jon.

Oh well. So I’m ugly, what’s the difference anyway. It all hurts just the same.