This is me being more open than usual.

Film-wise I’m always afraid someone’s going to see something I did and hate it and that is definetly something I have to get over, because experimentation is what I need right now. I had the wrong Idea. Sure, I have to re-write the end of the script I wrote last night (I’ll tell you why, remember that thing I said about me writing how I felt about the script into the characters? Well it’s totally just thrown into their out of nowhere, for example:

A
There is no reason for any of this. I don’t even know why I’m doing it. I’m just trying something out. Seeing if I can do it. I can’t even do this. Can’t even try something out. I’m not good at this. But it’s all I can do. I’m just trying it out. This is how it’s done, right?

B
I’m guessing. And it’s okay. But it’s not. This is bad. It was good. But it’s tainted by you. You can’t do it. I never thought you could though, so at least I didn’t fool myself.

Yup. Rewriting that shit).

I don’t know if I’ll ever show anyone it either. But I might as well experiment for free. I’m honestly more afraid of what my friends will think of this (since I know it is just such an experiment) I wonder if they’ll stop thinking I’m good.

Guess I gotta risk that. (Actually, James just called and he had an actually okay idea for the action film, pretty basic, but I probably won’t wanna make this anymore. Sigh.)

I will risk it someday.