It’s dreary outside.

Working day six of nine in a row. Makes me feel like I’m minding the store while the Boss Lady is on vacation. Five points for whoever guesses what tomorrow is.

There are still things I wanted to finish before “the summer” was over, and I wonder whether I’ll get to them all. Finish my dresser, shit, have I been putting that off. I really thought I’d have time to clear all my extra shit out of my dad’s condo. Or, be the one to throw things out, you know? Taking two summer classes sure put a dent in the Fun Factor. Probably why I’ve been going through so much vodka. (And we can joke vodka is how I aced both summer classes.)

I’m glad I got to lay outside the other day. Going to the pool really means going in for a quick swim, then trying to catch as much sun as possible. It seems to be one of the few times my interior monologue gives me a respite. I think it’s an understatement to say it’s always running. It’s how I used to fill the pages of these halls with drivel. I know, shh with the self-deprecation. I just prefer to be a little more focused these days? I mean, really, who wants to hear about the same work-related shit every day? Yeah, exactly.

Though, if I made an entry devoted to puns…

Have I mentioned that I make the worst puns? I will do ANYTHING for a bad pun. Such classics as, “Kevin! Bacon!” or “Do you want to.. taco `bout it?” or “I can’t because this cheese isn’t mine.” or “It’s very nice to meat you.” or “You can go online when you go home, right now you’re going in drive-thru.” It passes my day. Because pun-free days suck ass. I do wonder whether any job in the future will afford me the ability for such simple moments of pleasure.

I feel like my dialogue with Elissa is going rather well. Her brain seems to work really similarly to mine. It’s like looking at an image of myself during the before-times. Oh sure, there’s some personality differences. She has a desire to break free, whereas I grappled heavily with apathy. But the self-deprecation, the fears, the sadness, it’s all the same. She says I’ve already given her hope. The fact that she hears me is significant, it took me forever to hear anyone at all. Because I remember when I felt like nobody cared. It’s why I give a shit.

I’m getting old. I can no longer sleep in. I’ve been waking up anywhere from 6-7 AM and not being able to fall back asleep. And while I joke desiring a nap in the middle of the day, sometimes I feel like it would feel REALLY nice. Of course, my alarm clock named my cat Kira hasn’t been helping. Sometimes if she starts her chirping, I’ll just force-snuggle her until I’m ready to get up.

I should go poop, shower, and shave. If you’ll excuse me.