The Return of the Volcano Taco.

So, I’m a manager at a Taco Bell, right? I got completely addicted to lava sauce. I put it on everything. It was my joke. “Eh, it would taste better with lava sauce.” It actually has heat, and it actually tastes good. To me, anyway.

It was supposed to run its course as a monthly promotion, like most things, but corporate ran it for an unprecedented amount of time given sales. I was heartbroken when it was discontinued a few months ago. What, no volcano taco? No lava sauce? Everything tasted so goddamn bland without lava sauce! I tried going back to jalapeño sauce, but it just wasn’t the same.

Then spicy chicken was discontinued recently. That was a huge surprise to me. I singlehandedly tripled spicy chicken sales in our store via suggestive selling. It works, I tell you.

So, we got our stuff for our next promotion. There was a build for a volcano taco.

DUDE.

First case we get in, I’m slicing open a bag and guzzling it. Okay, maybe not. I can wait until it’s bottled before I guzzle it. :: cackles :: Additionally, there’s going to be a volcano burrito. We also got a new sauce bottling prep sheet. Which leads us to believe it may become a permanent item.

Sweet.

One of my favorite burritos was one with chicken, steak (STICKEN), lava sauce, lettuce, and one cheese. Lava sauce completely accented everything. Yes, I used the word ‘accent’ in relation to freaking taco bell food.

Oooh, or lava taquitos. Simple, tasty. Or my infamous double-crunch taco (with lava sauce between the shells). Or, or, my lava crunchwrap (with .. lava sauce between the tostada shells). Lava sauce went good with sour cream. Hell, lava sauce went good with everything. Man, I’m getting way too excited about this. I’m such a weirdo.

Also, our store has never stopped selling cheesy gordita crunchs. It’s not on the menu, but it seriously outsells other shit that’s ON the menu. Damn kids. Tastes better with lava sauce. ..I’M SERIOUS!

This is turning out to be a good month so far.