Now I can move forward.

What a pain in the ass. Crash and burn. I failed, as expected. Well, not expected, as in self-fulfilling. But I seriously wasn’t sure what was expected of me. I knew as a result of there being no guidance in the course, I would miss stuff. The course checksheet corresponded with things I remember practicing. No problem there.

He said I didn’t do a proper head tilt/chin lift. Let me tell you: I do not remember at all where that was explained. It’s a phrase I’ve heard a lot, but I don’t remember ever learning it. I just remember fucking with the manniquin because the airway would never open. Fuck, man. He also said I didn’t know how to properly seal the mask to the manniquin. I don’t remember that being explained, either.

Fuck, man.

This is why I tell people to never take an online class.

Not that this was an online class. You have to sign up for appointments in the CPR lab and basically teach yourself. But, as expected, I had no idea what I was supposed to be learning. At the very least, I know how to do compressions. At the very least.

He said I’d have an incomplete in the CPR course, and an incomplete in the First Aid class until I got certified. He said get it to him sometime in January/February. My god, that’s a relief. I was terrified of repeating the fucking courses. At least now I only have to pay more money to take one of those 8 hour CPR classes. Maybe I’ll learn something.

He mentioned that I didn’t do the extra credit for the last (exercise physiology) exam. What was the extra credit? Name something you learned from your paper. I didn’t do it because, seriously, I didn’t learn anything. Everything confirmed things I already knew. He also mentioned that the adjusted grades from the last exam were up. That gives me two A’s for the exams in the course. At least that works in my favor.

I think it’s about time I emailed the dean of the department about getting into exercise measurement and prescription. I’ve been putting that off, out of fear that I’d fail exercise physiology. There may be a light at the end of the tunnel after all.

que.sera.sera

December 12, 2007

you need to have more faith in yourself. seriously dude, you can do whatever the hell you want!

ryn – yeah, I dont think most people are naturally self confident… but a lot of people pretend to have it, i’ve found. fake it til you make it? either way, good luck!!

ryn: its dumb that they don’t have you learning it hands on. I learned it hands on and I’m afraid I’ve forgotten most of it as it is…

True, I have no answered your question and for that I apoligize. I have a problem to a large dregree with certain women that see to it that every man in the world must see their breasts and other body parts. They have no regard for social rules dealing with boyfriends and boundries with other women. It women like that that screw up our social system with cheating and crossing lines. It hits so

close to home because it deals with my friend and his step-sister and my boyfriend. I cant believe women can really be that low and skanky. I mean really, true, they are just breasts. It’s not liked they slept together or anything. But sometimes its nice for men to see why women get upset, that someone crossed the lines and that someone needs to man up and apoligize. He didnt see that at first

and now he does. I dont hold it against him or over his head or anything. We’ve moved on and I suppose you could say it strengthened our relationship. I just hate women who are like that. Who have no self worth for themselves or anyone else. Sorry about that rant, perhaps its wrong of me to go on and on, but I just want you to see how I feel and what I mean.

Wow, I can see how I totally blew past the answering of that question. How do I feel about it? I guess I feel kinda betrayed. Almost let down by the whole thing, you know? I know it wasnt his fault, she caught him off guard with the whole thing. But I figured I had made my feelings clear when I told him to stay away from her. Then the hug that he gave her right after our conversation…that I

suppose is why I’m upset. Is not so much the flashing of the breasts, but the hug after. That feels more betraying then the actual flashing. Man, I hadnt thought about it all this way….

the Sam.

December 13, 2007

I’d say you should have more faith in yourself, but I have no faith inmyself either, haha.My CPR/first aid class was 5 three hour long classes. We all passed by the second class haha.

You are really enjoy this arent you? I guess I do kinda feel threatened in an odd sense. I believe that this chick is def. pretty than me. I’ve got brains where she has the sluttiness. But most times, guys want the chick who can put it all out there physically, not mentally. So there, I fall short. And he doesnt really get close to people. When he does, something significant is going on.

And yes, for a moment there I did believe I had lost to a whore.