Daily Recap for 11-21-7

I got at the gym later than I anticipated, so I was at Gaming Club later than I planned. Let’s see, what did we play first? I remember getting there around 2:30, so Victoria wasn’t around yet. I just remember that at some point, we put two tables together to play a round of Great Dalmuti. Or however you spell it. I think we had too many people, but that’s okay.
After the first round, some people left, which I believe was a catalyst in upsetting Ashley. I’m not Deanna Troi like Victoria is, so I couldn’t quite tell why. I do know she was annoyed when what’s-his-face left the game she was playing earlier. I agreed with Victoria’s assertion that there was more at play. She went over to her at one point, though I don’t think Ashley sensed that Victoria wanted to comfort her. I could sense it, though that’s partly because I know Victoria.

Victoria made the joke, “It’s like thanksgiving already!”, because we were around a large table, feeling mildly uncomfortable. Apt, indeed.

We continued with the game. I made the executive decision to split the tables back apart, as we had less people. (Thanks for the phrase, Cliff.) Chris pointed out that we didn’t vote on pulling the tables apart. Quick on my feet for once, I replied that it was an executive decision. Ha ha. He replied with a comment about our administration.

Game was pretty fun. We moved around the table. Victoria kept tabs on where people were ranked (and subsequently sat), and I tried to keep tabs on what the current cards out were and who was up. I really like when someone does that during a game, keeps things moving. Nobody else seemed to want to do it, or defaulted to doing it, so I did it. Gasp, confidence and assertive abilities!

I remember Victoria giving me a mini-cuddle, causing her boob to come in contact with my arm. I giggled, and pointed it out. She replied that she likes when she can get that contact with males, but obviously it’s much more difficult to come in contact with male genitals as casually. I brought up how when Loralei and I were cuddling, she asked if I have a big dick. And so, she must have felt it. Man, I’m not going to live that down for a while.

Somewhere in the middle of game, or between games, I sensed Victoria withdraw for a moment. Thinking, perhaps. I quietly reached out and stroked her hand. She took one of my fingers and held it. The moment passed and she said quietly, “Thank you.” I like remembering moments like that. So I’m writing it down.

Somehow, Victoria’s upcoming purchase of a Sybian came up. I’m the type that sometimes feels intimidated or even emasculated by certain sex toys. There’s varying degrees of it. I think sex toys can be great. But my penis can’t vibrate! And even if I were to attach one of those vibrating cock rings, I’d feel, “Why isn’t my penis good enough as it is?” Of course, I know why she’s buying one. I hope she finds the sexual satisfaction and release she’s looking for.

Though, I still say that my sexual response during masturbation seems completely unrelated to my sexual response with females. They’re two completely different mindsets. All those years of wanking have been completely useless in terms of helping a girl sexually satisfy me. It’s like starting from scratch. I can’t control their hands, or their mouths, and I’m not even sure of what I’m feeling, so I’m both unsure of what they’re doing and whether it’s good or bad! Well, to a degree. Gets kind of fuzzy down there. Regardless, I know that my sexual response with females will probably improve with more practice with females.

Went to class. I know he didn’t want to have class tonight, but he had to cancel last week’s. Thankfully, Doto is a damn good professor, so time went fast. I noticed Victoria’s vehicle was gone, and I intended to just go home. However, I realized at that time that I required urination.

(I keep thinking of the Borg, except rather than saying, “We require regeneration”, I say to myself, “We require urination.” I’m a strange boy. :: giggles :: )

Upon going into the student center, I saw that Gaming Club hadn’t disbanded for the evening yet. I was shocked. I peed and watched them play Can’t Stop. (“You just can’t stop!”)

Fenwick said Victoria inquired about Ashley’s relationship status. Okay, this gets me wondering. See, Loralei and I are very puzzled by Fenwick and Ashley. We wonder if there’s anything going on between them. I seriously can’t put my finger on it. I never seen any overt signs of affection, yet my instincts say there’s something else there. Of course, without asking Victoria herself, I can’t know what her purpose was. Then again, she could have just been asking for her own information. While she can’t handle another cock, maybe she could handle a vulva. Ha ha.

Ashley stated that her back hurt, and requested a backrub from me. I should preface by saying that I still seriously don’t know what I’m doing when I’m giving a backrub. It’s like any other touch-related activity (cunnilingus especially): If I’m given a positive sign, I stay with the area. If I get no sign, I move on. I generally like some sense of direction. Ashley gave me a few, “That feels good”, which meant what I was doing in general was good, and a few “right there”. We’re talking backrub, people. She said it was hurting down her spine, so that’s were I focused.

Review the quote of the day in the previous entry. Apparently she says other people go too hard? I don’t like when people beat the shit out of me. Basically, she complimented my backrub. Which amused me because I seriously have no idea of what I’m doing. I know where the muscles are located, but beyond that, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. But what I was doing seemed to be okay, so… cool!

Giving her massages has given me the opportunity to ask myself why I’m so scared of touching people, or them touching me. I suppose there’s that basic level of trust involved, letting someone in your personal space. Or, specifically, so close that they TOUCH you. I generally don’t hug people, in part because I’m afraid it’ll be unwanted. Same reason I don’t give out back massage. Yadda yadda, all that jive. In the middle of giving her a back massage, I ask myself, “Do I enjoy giving this back massage?” I replied to myself, “Yes, I reckon this is fun.” You know, making sure I don’t do something I don’t want to do. (If I didn’t want to do it, I’d stop or say no.) Anyway, I felt more comfortable today because she gave me more feedback. I hate doing something and not knowing what kind of effect I’m doing.

We got on the topic of how Ashley flirts with people, in reference to how she flirts with Victoria. To point out that I don’t consider her a flirt all that much, I said, “You don’t flirt with me.” She replied, “Well, I’m not attracted to you.” I laughed, “I’ll try not to take offensive.” Ha ha.

Club adjourned, and I helped clean up a little bit. Ashley asked if I’d carry her bookbag to her car. I’m a gentleman, and I dropped my bookbag off in the van, so I obliged. …At which point she promptly stated how “useless” she is. Was that the word, or was it worthless? One of those two. I told her, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” I considered bringing up my hard-on joke so it would stick in her memory. She continued putting herself down, so I reiterated, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

I have absolutely no idea how the topic shifted so quickly, but she started talking about how she can’t get off while masturbating. Typical female overanalyzing while attempting to be autosexual thing. I’ve met pretty much the gamut of females in terms of masturbation. I know some that can orgasm a dozen times in a shot, and the sporatic few that haven’t quite masturbating a good wank yet.

She stated she hasn’t had sex in a while, and then said something about her boyfriend. Gasp! My openning! I asked who her boyfriend was. She replied,

“Oh, nobody you know.”

Way to be dodgy. Ha ha. Seriously, now I’m more curious than ever. Though. Maybe she’s being honest? Why lie? I do not know.

Having had my moment of one-on-one interaction with her, my read on her has changed. Recently, I’ve sensed more in her, but now I’m definitely sure there’s more at play. I believe my initial reaction to her was more of a judgement than an emotional read. Yes. Hey, I’ll admit it, I judged her. I was annoyed at the way she acted when she played games. But if I read her emotionally, it’s clear there’s a lot going on. I’ll try to keep my sensors open. I’m not Deanna Troi, but I can see more than I used to.

Fascinating.

She hugged me briefly, and I walked back to the van, and went home.

…Ha ha. Deanna Troi. It’s really funny to contrast early Next Generation to later episodes of Next Generation. Early episodes, whenever she “feels” something, it’s a really tramatic moment. Later episodes, she’ll just nonchalantly state what she senses. Ha ha. Of course, you could just claim she got better at handling her emotions. :: smirks :: Deanna got more emotionally mature!

I am amused. Deanna Victroi? Nah. We’ll see how far I intend on teasing her.