The Problem of Vulval Micturition.
So I was waiting for Victoria to pee when I considered the problem of female micturition. The reason my wait was so long was because there was a line. I was going to put “line” in italics, but then I remembered my audience is mostly female – this isn’t anything new. Yet, as someone endowed with a penis, it’s a rather strange concept. The only time I have ever waited in line to micturate was when I was a wee boy and my mom brought me in the ladies’ room. Cliff agrees that it always smelled odd in there. Otherwise, facilities available for penile micturition have always been adequate.
Vulval micturition (for lack of better organ designation) typically does not have adequate facilities available. I asked Victoria how many stalls were available. She said two. Now wait a second. In the male bathroom right next to it, there are two stalls – and five urinals. Yes. Five. That means seven penises can micturate at the same time, whereas the nearby female facility only accommodates for two vulvas to micturate.
The obvious solution is to have chicks learn to pee while standing. Unfortunately, while this is practical in the woods, civilized bathrooms are a little more modest. I don’t think I need to explain that. Though, the “OMGZ, I’d need to TOUCH myself!” is kind of negated by the fact that you should be washing your hands anyway.
You’d figure someday someone would put in, you know, more stalls. Actually, come to think of it. When I worked at Panera, the male bathroom had two stalls and one urinal. The female bathroom (as I had to mop and clean stuff now and then) had four stalls. Hey, that’s more micturition capacity!
Male micturition, like it or not, is faster. We expose our penis, pee, tuck it back away, and wash our hands. Done. (Though, most people don’t wash their hands. Dude.) As is painfully obvious, vulval micturition requires partial disrobing.
You know, I think the reason we don’t have integrated bathrooms is because women don’t want to poop in front of guys. The urinal issue is overrated. I’m in the middle of penile micturition and some chicks walk in to use a stall. So? Maybe others would care, but I wouldn’t. I’m sure there comes a time in a girl’s life when she says, “Fuck it, I’m going in the men’s bathroom. THERE’S NO LINE.”
Anyway, I think I’m done. This was, of course, a massive excuse to talk about the disproportion of vulvas to available toilets. So many vulvas, so little time.
u said vulva
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I actually just had this conversation with a male friend and a female friend last night. We used words like “pee” though. lol. A valid point at any rate.
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I totally use the guy’s washroom if there’s a line at the girl’s and the guy’s is empty. F**k it man, I just wanna pee.
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ive had my exhusband stand guard at the door of the mens room when i had to go. both the potties were one seaters, and i damn sure didnt want to wait twenty minutes for the womens. he ended up standing there for a couple of other ladies too.
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I have on many an occasion said “screw this, I’m using the Men’s Room”. And did. Those long lines? One of the many reasons women are grouchy.
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You crack me up.
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I’ve used the men’s room from time to time. It usually smells in there. I think the reason we have segregated bathrooms is not just for pooping/peeing, but because sometimes the sexes need a private place to change clothes or do other things we wouldn’t want to do in front of a stranger of the opposite sex.
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I am all for integrated bathrooms!! Its absouloutly ridiculous having to wait 10 mins to even get in a stall!!
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Well, most stores and restaurants don’t have locker rooms.
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I have been in bars where you can get thrown out for going into the mens bathroom to pee when the line was too big for the ladies toilets.
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i have no idea about that end of the world, but i think it might be illegal for people to go in the opposite sex’s bathroom this end? i was discussing this the other day, actually. i think it is but my friend disagrees. hmm..
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yeh definitely worth it, i’ve done it before either by accident or just because i desperately needed to pee but still.. im sure its illegal!
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I’ve used more men’s rooms than I can count. <3
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yeah and for some reason at some bars there’s no women’s rest room, so the boyfriend has to stand guard. and dude. girls don’t poo in front of anyone, not just boys.
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You’re always very clinical when talking of genitalia and/or their functions. Do you read J.G. Ballard? If not, you should check him out. He’s the ultimate perv.
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I agree with you totally. Not enough peeing is going on in the girls restroom….really dumb. But I used to use the guys room more than the girls…I would stand in line for about twenty mintues…then say screw it and head into the mens room. My mom hates it, but at least I get to pee. =]
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RYN: I would love some TimmyPorn….I need some warming up. But I’ll make this note private, dont want to over work you when the rest of the world finds the most amazing pornstar….teeehee
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Agreed. I don’t like to poop in front of anyone, male or female.
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I’m in Japan. The Japanese squat toilets suck. They’re like urinals built into the floor. I avoid them whenever possible, but when I do use them, I usually wind up peeing on my pants and shoes. I really hate it. So, no, I am not going to make a habit of peeing while standing. I have an abnormal bladder anyway, so my pee aim is worse than most other women’s. But you are right about thereneeding to be more female stalls. It’s ridiculous. I hate waiting when my husband is in and out in no time.
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RYN: I very well may try it. If nothing else, I could use the practice.
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I’ve received many a strange look from men when I enter a men’s room. I was about to enter one once and a man rather rudely said “What are you doing?! You don’t belong in there!” The abundance of women’s restrooms is one of the wonderful things about attending an all women’s college. I very much appreciate it anyway.
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yeah you automatically put ‘wash your hands’ in with the male procedure. I can’t say I have seen it done enough to list it as protocol. I do my part though.
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That was deep.
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