In Darkness, I Reign.

I like watching movies in the darkness of my room on Roxanne. The darkness and privacy of my room and the crispness of my LCD makes for a better viewing experience than any theatre. I swear, once you watch movies on headphones, you start feeling “outside” movies when you just watch them on a TV or in a theatre. Really adds to the experience.

I noticed the other day that my mom had bought V For Vendetta. I wondered when that got there. Cliff noted that maybe we had said something about it. While I don’t think I said this particular phrase to my mom, I recall how “V For Vendetta grabbed me by the nutsac and didn’t let go.” Oh yes. You can quote me and slap that phrase on the damn box.

After Tara canceled on me, I decided I needed something to change my emotional landscape. I figured this would do the trick.

I must say, I’m surprised how much I ended up crying through the film. It was more than just the scenes where she’s in the cell. I even cried during the ending, where Parliament explodes. Like I said, watching movies on Roxanne adds to the experience. Amelie used to be my cry movie, but I think this can be my pick-me-up movie now.

I really love crying. It makes me feel so much better afterwards. I suppose I don’t cry in public. Kind of a personal thing? I would assume most people don’t like crying in public.

I’m sitting in darkness, listening to Fatboy Slim. Anybody dig that Fatboy sound?

Spring Break kind of sucked ass. Always does. I don’t do well with breaks. I was off all week because of the stuff I have to do this week. I realized after the fact that I need books out of the van. If the van is done, then I’ll walk to the shop and pick it up. It’s only down the road. If not, then I’ll GOTO the shop and get my books out of the van. I have a kinesiology assignment for Monday that’s due Tuesday night. I’d like to get it done tomorrow night. I have a spanish midterm Tuesday night. And, most stressful, I have a speech to give on Friday. It’s the informational one you have to give using a visual aid. I sense I’m going to fail it.

And I don’t mean just screw it up. I have no idea what to do for it, and when I don’t know what to do, I don’t do anything. Visual aid? Dude, what the hell should I use? I’m kind of fucked. The twenty-second pause I had during the first speech got in my head.

I sense a quiz in A&P either on Tuesday or Thursday. I’d like to stay on top of all that shit.

I get really annoyed when I have no idea what’s going to happen. I work best if I set a schedule, and go kick ass. Also, with the van uncertainty, I don’t know when I’m going to lift. Which sets back my stability. I sense it’s going to be a long time before I get my conditioning back. I’ve probably been set back a month. Sigh.

Hope is a dangerous thing. I’m terribly melodramatic, but I’ve come to like it. It gives me spirit I might not have otherwise. It’s my perception, but I feel like most people don’t quite have the spirit I do.

I think my journal misses me. It’s time.