Battle of the Chips.

I like keeping most of my food-related products up above the cupboards. Cereal, spare oatmeal, tostidos. That sort of stuff. I think this annoys my dad. I was going to make dinner and I noticed the second bag of tostidos was missing. Whenever things move, I assume I’m going crazy. I wouldn’t have minded if my mom had finished them off. No problem! I thought for a moment. I looked under the counter where my dad keeps his junk.

Yup. It was there. I took what I needed and put it back up above.

I hear my dad muttering sometimes about how I’m trying to “hide” them. Actually, that’s not the reason. I put my stuff up there to keep me from bending down. Bottom cupboards were great when I was little. But I’m not that short anymore.

Reminds me of the time my dad was convinced we were out of oatmeal. We were in the grocery store and he said, “We’re out of oatmeal.”

I said, “No, we’re not. We have more.”

He retorted, “Well, you know, if two people are eating oatmeal, it’s going to go a lot faster!”

I was able to dissuade him from buying oatmeal. Of course, he went out later that evening to buy store-brand oatmeal. In reality, I had spare oatmeal up above the cupboards. That’s not hiding. Where else am I supposed to keep my spare oatmeal?

What kills me is that he didn’t even bother asking me. If he was really convinced we were out of oatmeal, he could have called me on my bullshit. He didn’t say, “That’s odd, I don’t seem to see any oatmeal” or even “Where’s that damn oatmeal you claim we have?” Nope. Didn’t listen to me.

You know, if my dad really disliked me keeping the tostidos in a place that he considers inconvenient to him, he should really, you know, talk to me about it. He’s the reason I’m so damn passive aggressive.

:: burps ::

Hope the gym is open tomorrow.