My Lucky Day.

You won’t believe this. You’ll give me that, “No freaking way.”

Way, man.

I was just walking back to the van after FINALLY figuring out how to do this one stupid math problem. (I’ll refrain from getting into it. I’ll simply say that if you end up making things too complicated or trying to “invent” math, you’re probably doing it wrong. I always know this. Find the simplest way to solve it, probably using something you just learned.)

There isn’t much lead-up to it. Something caught my eyes on the ground. Very fast my head goes, “It couldn’t be, could it?” I quickly rationalized the ethics, then bent down to pick up a couple folded twenties.

No, I’m not kidding.

I continued walking to the van trying to hold back an out-of-place smile. Most people seem to have neutral faces when they walk. I, at least, try to avoid looking at the ground or sad. I just look forward with my head up. Makes you look confident. Rarely do you see someone with an outright gleeful smile.

I got in the van and took the paper out of my pocket. One. Two. Three.

I had just found sixty bucks laying on the ground.

I let the moment take me. Sixty bucks. But, no ordinary sixty bucks. Every other sixty bucks I have is hard-earned cash which I won’t let go of easily. Every other sixty bucks is some part of my dad’s cash, or cash somebody else gave me, which I plan to allocate carefully to maximize personal gratification. But this. This is sixty bucks that doesn’t exist. This is sixty bucks that I was never supposed to have. It was someone else’s. So, it’s only right that I enjoy it.

Then I think, “Maybe I’ll spend it on someone else.” You can buy five OD subscriptions with 60 bucks. I could allocate it further for gas money. With gas prices isn’t that half a tank of gas? Ha ha, I jest. I could buy some clothes – but I don’t need more. I could buy a video game. With the NHL season starting soon, I could go for an updated PC version to play on Roxanne. I could put it in the bank – but then it stops being money that isn’t mine and becomes money that is mine and would ultimately be allocated differently.

If I throw down twenties, I could go out with friends three times. I could drive to Grandma’s and back. I could buy that “I miss my foreskin” t-shirt I saw online. I could buy paint and paint my room. (Nah. Too cramped as it without paint fumes.) I could buy sixty double-cheeseburgers at McDonalds. I could buy three Crave Cases at White Castle. (Around there.) I could drive to Atlantic City and gamble however much I would have leftover after allocating gas money for the drive back.

I’m reminded of something I used to do. A long time ago, I left a twenty dollar bill in my glove compartment for emergencies. I pretended it didn’t exist, and always carried other cash to cover my ass. Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was driving back from Arlington. I couldn’t tell you which time it was. I remember driving on 476 until it hit 22. (I think it was.) It’s part of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. For whatever reason, when I entered, the toll booth didn’t have a ticket for me. I was confused but continued on. Naturally, I was charged for the entire length of the turnpike, which also runs from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh (I believe). I was out of cash. Seriously. I had to pay the damn toll and I knew I was fucked. Then I remembered. The Emergency Twenty. That completely saved my ass.

Maybe I’ll put some Fuck Up Money back in there. I haven’t gotten around to doing it before, in part because that’s twenty dollars I’d want elsewhere, whether it be my savings account or in my wallet. Ah. But now I have a chance to give myself Fuck Up Money without costing me anything. Maybe not the full amount. Just a twenty, or maybe forty. And if I do that, I can contently splurge the remaining twenty(s) without feeling like I’m wasting anything.

I mean, look at me. I bring pb&js with me to school so I won’t have to pay for food. Ha ha. Over the course of a semester, eating there will cost a LOT of money. So I just say no. I work on a policy of skimp and spend. Avoid things I don’t need, and treat myself to things I want. I’ve always considered it practice, just in case I ever find myself ever needing to be that way.

(As for any ethical questions, the bills were just laying there, COMPLETELY unattended. It’s not like they were left on a store counter or anything. Nor were they near anybody standing by.)

Regardless. I have an extra sixty bucks in my wallet. And now, to redo my calc work to make it all neat. Oh, my punch line. I get made fun of for picking up pennies off the ground. Well, pick up enough pennies, maybe someday you’ll FIND A COUPLE TWENTIES ON THE GROUND! : D