Personal Conversation.

There seem to be many times in life when there are perfectly coherent internal monologues for both sides of a situation. Yet we’re all a little confused and agitated when our friends rant and rave about something, then start saying the exact opposite. Maybe a little. I hate being inconsistent so I’m not sure how guilty I am of it myself. But when I listen to my own thoughts, it’s clear it’s something that happens.

But, it’s a good thing. Seeing both sides of something and all. And really, I think most of us do it.

I want to push Melissa against a wall and kiss her neck. I want to spend time with her. I want to be someone she spends time with consistently.

*pause*

I knew it would only be a matter of time before liking somebody I worked with would cause problems. Actually, the working together isn’t the issue. It’s just how it is with her. Despite the attention, I feel lonely.

I like how we are, caught in a perpetual phase of flirtiness and energy. Verbal foreplay. She’s found this one spot on my hip that causes my legs to give way. I love being touched.

I’m wary of seeing her outside of work after last Friday. Being told to go home, because she wasn’t ready to sleep with me. Thinking about her sleeping, I smile.

I want to sleep with her.

Her friends rubbed me the wrong way. I’m tempted to ask Erik to be my wingman next time. Maybe.

She needs to meet my friends.

She can’t meet my friends until.. Well. Until later. It’s too soon. Until it’s clear where I stand. I feel like all those bad things Cliff always told me about girls is coming true.

She likes me. She likes me. We’re still in that phase where simply knowing that makes me smile. Regardless of her ex-boyfriend, she still thinks about me.

I’m just a rebound boy. Who am I to a guy she’s been with for a long time?

I wanted something casual and non-serious after Paige, and this is just right.

I feel embarrassed to talk about it at times, yet I want to share it so much.

Yeah. Share. Enthusiasm. I feed off enthusiasm.

…..

(Thus concludes this entry.)