Goddamn.

An evening of long conversation that I didn’t want to end, and all I want to remember is the kiss.

Goddamn.

I hesitated. That’s me for you. I guess it was a worry of, well, everything. How I’ll feel afterwards. But, she kissed me first and.. that kind of openned the floodgate. Our lips met and I instantly knew I didn’t want her to leave all that fast. I wanted to stay in the parking lot and kiss her. If only for a moment.

She said “goodnight” and tried to kiss me one last time. Our bodies almost outstretched, our lips refusing to break quite yet. I pulled her into me and felt a bit of passion in her response.

And in an instant, she broke from me and walked to her car without giving me a chance to recoil. I stubbled backwards into the van and said simply,

“Goddamn.”

For lack of anywhere else to go, we went to the Rockaway Diner. I had her describe where she lives, and I figured she’d at least know how to get there. We talked, we ate, and.. we just kept talking. She kept sharing, so I felt comfortable sharing some things about myself. I stared at her face. She looked somehow different than she does at work. Still her, still beautiful, just a side I guess I hadn’t seen before.

But damn, I’m still buzzing. I wasn’t sure whether to kiss her. I work with her. There’s the baggage she has. There’s.. Well, stuff.

I knew we’d have to leave eventually. She was cold, I could feel her shivering against me. She probably felt my boner. How could she not? *laughs* I suggested we GOTO the backseat of her car. You know, warmer. She said we better not, one thing leading to another. I wouldn’t have done TOO much, but. Never know. It’s been a LONG time since I tasted a girl’s lips. Felt nice.

*giggles*

We hugged and hugged and I would have been content with just that. Holding her against me, being aware of her breasts poking my chest only in passing. I hug her a lot at work, but never like that, without a time limit.

..Reminds me. Mike’s said something to her about us. He doesn’t care, because we both get our shit done. He just wants us to watch the PDA. Really, if we get our shit done, we’re fine as long as we don’t offend customers. He’ll talk to me eventually (I’m assuming), but he hasn’t yet.

She asked what I was thinking. I said I was wondering whether I should kiss her or not. How to express those first seconds where our lips were still feeling each other out? Not sure where to move. Feeling, greeting. Communication on a physical level. Saying over and over again “YESYESYES!” Warm and familiar, yet always new. Mostly just lips, but a little tongue in there, too. Nothing overpowering, yet clearly not underkissed.

It was a date. Trivial dinner followed by long conversation that I never wanted to end. Which is followed by a FANTASTIC GOODNIGHT KISS.

Goddamn.