White Castle and The Spontaneous Intervention.

I blame my GM, Mike, for this entirely. Last Thursday, he convinced me to chip in five bucks so we could get White Castle. Something you have to understand, ever since that White Castle openned near us, most of Panera has been obsessed with White Castle. That first night, people on line were saying on the loudspeaker, “Attention Panera customers… White Castle is now open.” I remember passing by White Castle at some ungodly hour and there was still a HUGE line. I passed by there during the day, and there was line onto Route 46.

Thursday was supposed to be my day off, but so many people called out that Mike needed a Timmy to save the day. I don’t think I got a break aside from my random White Castle munching. And goddamn. That was GOOD. He got a 30-pack of Jalapeno burgers. GODDAMN.

Cliff’s very good at making himself scarce and unavailable when he doesn’t want to be found. In reaction, Erik and I have realized that we can, in fact, be social together without him. Some car-swapping later, my Van was parked at Erik’s, his car was parked at Dan’s, and we were in Liz’s car on our way to White Castle. Hey, Erik and I knew we couldn’t demolish an entire 30 case of White Castle, so we enlisted Ashley, Dan, and Liz. *nodnod*

We placed our order inside and sat at a table talking about ejaculation. Such a wonderful topic. Apparently, Dan hoses down the room. We received our crave case of 30 Jalapeno burgers and went back here. I joked about then taking my sister’s car, leaving Liz’s car parked here. *laughs*

Those burgers totally hit the spot last night. Goddamn. Mmmmmmmmmmm!

I made Dan a bit of Panera ale in a wine glass. He said he’s so used to alcohol tasting bad, chugging things mindlessly. *laughs* At some point, I took a swig of the bottle of apple vodka. Is it bad that it tasted good? I then handed the bottle to Erik and watched him chug a bit of the bottle I was attempting to nurse.

We played Smash Bros and stuff, waiting to see if the combination of jalapenos and vodka was a lethal one. (Not by a long shot.)

We returned Ashley home so Erik’s testicles could stay intact. I then challenged Erik to a round of chess. I handed my queen to him rather quickly because I wanted to get the beginning of the game over with. Beginnings are annoying and tedious. It’s the endgame I’m more focused on. I was able to eventually take his queen and later checkmate him. See, we were playing some odd Lord of the Rings version, which made it hard to tell which piece was what.

We then went back to Dan’s and the four of us ended up sleeping together. *nodnod* I’m not sure what to make of the fact that Erik is much better to spoon with. I kept rubbing Liz’s boobs on accident. “Oops, sorry. Oops, sorry. Oops, sorry.” We did all calm down, stop talking and fidgeting, and fall asleep. A unique experience. I’ve missed sleeping with someone, let alone three people. If you’re curious, Dan has a pull-out couch in his room. Though, we WERE able to fit the four of us on his bed initially. *laughs*

Remember the car-swapping. Sometime last night, Erik realized he left his car keys in his house. On the final run back to Dan’s, Liz and I effectively had a race. And I beat her to Dan’s by a full three minutes. WHO’S YOUR TIMMY. *laughs* Pays to know back roads. I kick ass. I beat her IN A VAN.

So I took Erik to work this morning. I came back here, dawdled, showered, and kind of napped. I then picked him up and we continued where we left off. Went to his house so he could change. Then went to Dan’s. He was in the middle of writing an essay, so we left him be – we went to his room and played Mutant League Football for Sega. The ancient graphics look so shoddy. So dirty. Funny, I remember 2-D being clean. Or maybe I’m used to SNES.

Liz showed up at some point. We noticed we were hungry – and sought out food at a much later time. I wanted to venture to the Rockaway Diner, but it was closed. Dude, we’re paying customers. You do NOT close your diner! We wandered around more and discovered the Roxbury Diner (Formerly Victoria’s Diner) was still open. The waitress seemed familiar to Erik, so he started a rather amusing conversation with her.

Actually, the first thing we asked her was how she would react if her boyfriend declined sex due to cramps. She said she’d give him midol. See, Dan’s been giving Liz excuses why he doesn’t want to have sex, including “I’m too tired” to other things. We went back to Dan’s and.

Liz, Erik, and I were standing outside in the ran, Erik and I wearing our sexy cowboy hats. Dan was still in her car, for some reason. We had just made a run to 7-11 for condoms. Liz and Dan needed some, and Erik is responsible like that, too. I made it clear, “I’m not getting laid for a long time.” Somehow, we started talking about Dan’s… Well.

It’s a delicate issue, really. See, Dan doesn’t last long. Liz wasn’t bitching or bemoaning. It was a rather matter-of-fact conversation. About Dan not lasting longer than two minutes. Liz said she wants to work with him on it. Yadda, yadda, we were almost done when Dan left her car and went inside. So we were left outside to theorize ways for Dan to last longer. Performance averages aside, if Dan could get to ten minutes, it would be enough to make Liz happy.

Erik and I went up first to talk to Dan. While he played Jurassic Park on Sega, we discussed how he could possibly last longer. I asked him where he’s looking when they’re having sex. He said, “The wall.” To me, this screams of intimacy issues. I told him to look her in the eyes. It just hit me now that they said that they typically have sex in female-superior. How the hell can you look at the wall in that position? What’s clear to me is that he would have more control if he was on top. *nods*

We finished talking to Dan, and I openned the door to find Liz hiding outside. *smirks* I hauled her in and we made her sit in the corner as punishment for spying. Well, for a time. Punishment over, we made her sit next to him. She was putting on a beaten dog facade. *smirks*

I don’t remember specifically what was said. I remember my read on how Dan was feeling. We love Dan, and we know that if we hadn’t done something, he wouldn’t have. He’s the most indecisive person we know. I just got this feeling that he was shutting down. It was so clear, after a point, that he did not want to talk about it at all. Rightfully so, after all. That’s personal shit. But the thing with Dan is that he doesn’t have the spine to articulate that. He’ll just shut down. I know this because I know how I’d react to somebody probing me so.

We made it clear that the conversation with Liz was entirely spontaneous. I’ve certainly never had a personally sexual conversation like that before, though Erik claims he has. We happened to mention how Dan is hard to talk to on the phone. That was clearly nagging him, though as usual, he didn’t want to talk about it. Shutting down, as I said. Dan just kept saying how he wanted to kill somebody. We know Dan-lingo. He needs to calm down his anger as much as he does during sex. Or something like that. I know what I meant.

Whatever. Erik and I did what we could. I was reminded of how Ashley said Erik doesn’t talk much. Which is kind ofbullshit, as Erik did more talking than I did. At one point, Liz got up and left. We heard her go down the stairs. There was a pause, and Erik told him to go after her. He did – but came back emptyhanded, saying “That was weird.” We just assumed she left. When Erik and I left his house, her car was still outside. I got up close and knocked on her window. She jumped; Erik and I laughed our asses off. She wasn’t sure what to do, we told her it was entirely up to her. She got out of her car and went inside.

Prior to our final departure, Erik and I agreed that if Dan was a smart, he’d fuck her right then and there. Just be like, “Fuck this evening, we’re having sex now.” But um. I don’t know about Dan. He’s not confident like that. He’s not decisive like that. Cliff’s been trying since he met him nearly ten years ago to try and get Dan to be assertive and shit.

Whatever. Their sex life, and it’s ultimately up to them how they sort it out.

Given how late we tend to leave Dan’s house, we agreed to meet at a later date at an earlier time. (We passed White Castle tonight, as it was open, and it was so tempting…) We agreed to meet at Dan’s late Wednesday, sleep over, then go out for lunch Thursday. I have three days of work (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) in between there, but I have a feeling it will go fast. After all, I’ll get to see Melissa. Rox0r.

Time for sleep.