I’d rather be sleeping.

Nothing like waking up at 3 AM and realizing “Oh, I’ve already slept.” Well, almost. I was talking to Mary around 9 PM last night (probably about Panera-related things, hey it’s something we have in common) when I realized I was blinking rather tiredly. So rather than fight it and stay awake, I decided to GOTO bed.

Why is it that when I GOTO bed early, I’ll wake up constantly through the night, yet if I GOTO bed late, I’ll sleep like a rock, even if I’m tired when I GOTO bed early, and not tired when I GOTO bed late?

My body is so weird. I could tell that when I woke up at 3 AM, it would turn into one of those I-feel-rested, my-body-feels-so-relaxed, and-I-can’t-fall-back-asleep things. Well, not rested-rested. I need more sleep. I’m betting that if I get up for a little bit, and go back to bed so I still have 90 minutes left before the alarm, I should fall back asleep. Hopefully. It still feels incredibly unnatural to wake up at this ungodly hour.

Oh, and part of the reason I know I was done sleeping was because I had a dream before I woke up. Part of it was.. my family (with my dad driving) was in another car, and I was driving the van. We were getting in to go home. Thing is, I didn’t know the way, entirely. Before I could ask him to wait up, he zooms down the road.

Kind of reminds me of an old fear of mine. If I’m ever out someplace with my dad and he leaves my presence, I’ll have this odd fear that maybe he won’t come back, and he’ll just leave me out there, stranded. I’ve had that fear even through my teens, and I could never rationalize it.