Always ‘on my way out’.
I’m scared, as always. CS and Philosophy is just a dumb solution so I can set forth and “graduate”. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to take all those CS courses, either. I don’t feel like there’s anything for me. Maybe college isn’t for me. But then, what is? What should I be heading towards instead?
Pham asked me why I don’t go into photography. It’s never crossed my mind at all. You know why? Because I know my dad would laugh at me. He’d never take that venture seriously at all. He’d think I’d be throwing my life away, just like my sister.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. And god damn it, I’m stuck in a happy boobie-filled apathy that I can’t get myself out of easily.
I feel that way sometimes. There comes a point where you just have to finish what you’re doing, even if you’re not sure. You might not really want to do anything with CS, but grit your teeth, get through it, and at least you’ll have a diploma at the end of it.
Warning Comment
Why don’t you just become a porn star?
Warning Comment
It must be the onset of spring, everyone seems to be questioning the worth of their work/study/career.
Warning Comment
ryn: I agree with you wholeheartedly. But then, I’ve always been an egalitarian. Life is better when you share the mind-numbing, back-and-spirit crushing chores. Thanks for the note. 🙂
Warning Comment
Cheer up buddy. I hate to see you out of all people sad, when you are one of the few that really makes me laugh! College can be such the dilemma. I hope things work out. Oh, and don’t let your dad bother you. Dads can be so wrong sometimes. Mine told me I’d never make it out of HS without getting pregnant – and that I’d end up working in a factory. Needless to say I proved him wrong. Felt Great.
Warning Comment
i quit college. it eats up all that glorious time you COULD be using to make money. as for one of the above noters, being a pornstar isn’t such a bad idea. if you like naked people, you might try renting the first season of The Family Business, if you haven’t already.
Warning Comment
is your sister happy?if yes, then… i rest my case. that’s all your dad should care about. i know it’s not all he cares about, but it should be.that’s all my dad cared about. that we were happy…
Warning Comment
my “bitch” is a boy :o)
Warning Comment
that’s cause he needs to be shaved lmao and he doesn’t have little doggie balls, so he’s as close to a bitch as he can get, i suppose :o) he’s my baby!
Warning Comment
I’m dying to tell you what to do, but my advice probably wouldn’t help. I know what I would do, but I’m not you, so…. Yeah.
Warning Comment
You ought to do what makes you happy…if that’s photography, then screw what your father thinks. You’re your own man.
Warning Comment
if your father running your life or are you?
Warning Comment
What classes do you enjoy most? What are you best at? What can you do with that? Just step back for a bit and contemplate those questions, putting aside all of the expectations other people have for you or that you’ve saddled yourself with, and you’ll start to find the answer.
Warning Comment
I LOVE YOU~
Warning Comment
*flashes her boobs at you* boobies?
Warning Comment
So is it your life or your Dads???
Warning Comment
yes but in the end it’s about what you want…a life isnt wasted if it is spent doin something that u enjoy…or something that makes u happy or content even… g’luck ~
Warning Comment
ryn: The Family Business is a series about the actual porn producer Seymore Butts. it’s like a reality show that just follows him around his day-to-day life. it’s really pretty interesting. i’m shocked you haven’t heard of it. come to think of it, you usually haven’t heard of anything i mention. maybe you’re not from new jersey, but from the Principality of Sealand. it’s a real place.
Warning Comment
i know all about the apathy. altho mne isnt filled with boobies. so yeah
Warning Comment