Almost Meditative.

Notepad has been open for a bit. The words aren’t coming.

Is it Wednesday already? I’m afraid of disappointing my Rapist. Naturally, I know such a thing isn’t really possible. But I really felt like I was making progress. And to be set back like this… *sighs* I don’t want to be stuck at this, I want to talk about other things. ..Maybe we will anyway.

I feel like I’m shutting down. Wednesday. It feels like I just got here. It feels like I’ve been here forever. Ever since that nap yesterday, I’ve been in an odd mood. My mind feels.. quiet for once. Like I could space out indefinitely. Not a good thing. Maybe it’s a reflexive response to the stress. Just complete detachment; that is how I feel, detached. On a level, I feel fine. But there’s a dark cloud overhead, which I’m trying to run out from under. With every minute that passes, I wonder in the back of my mind just how far I’m going to fail.

I had a take-home midterm for Socialism and Communism due Monday. I didn’t finish. With all the stress, I just. Didn’t do it for today. I’m not sure how. I had more than two weeks to study at least a little bit for Metaphysics. I have a final Friday, and I’m just doomed.

Don’t know what else to say. Sometimes, I wonder if my photogenic beauty transcends into the eyes of those that actually see me. I wonder.

By the way, I have no idea what to make my DiaryName.

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March 23, 2004

can you post cleavage without upsetting BangBang?

Pictures. Yay for pictures. That’s weird, though. When I clicked on latest entry on my faves list, it took me to the last entry, and I had to move to the new entry. Why’d it do that? weird. I posted pictures tonight. There’s cleavage in my diary. HAHA!!! Not much, cause its mine, but its there. 😀

I see you like Snapple. Isn’t it really the best stuff on earth? yum.

March 24, 2004

i want your hair. 🙁 *steals it* 😀 *dances around giddily*

How do you get your hair so shiny?

March 24, 2004

Damn your hair is SOFA KING beautiful. I’m so jealous. I’m a favorite *yay* I want to see a picture of the hairless thigh.

cut your hair hippi! *giggles*

March 24, 2004

No red bumps or nothing. You are GOOD. I made my freakin bikini line bleed. Do I get ballhairless pictures up here too? *grin*

March 24, 2004

I feel so special! Nads is dangerous shit though, I’m telling you. Be well,

March 24, 2004

I saw you before I “saw” you. Really. Be well,

*hugs* Quiet minds are weird aren’t they? A godsend in one sense and torture in another!

March 24, 2004

Will you sleep with me?

March 24, 2004

After seeing your dinkie for the last month, now when I see a hairy dinkie it’s a total turn off! I love the Timmy as Jesus piccys

You change your name more than anyone I know. What does that link go to, anyway, the one you left in my notes? I hestitate to go there ’cause I know that it might be to something I’d rather not see, you never know.

March 24, 2004

that’s really funny you said “don’t expect sex” because I actually meant just sleep! Did you know that I love the cock?

March 24, 2004

That’s exactly how I feel =/

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH A URL!!!! Now I have an AWESOME excuse to masturbate in front of the computer!!!

March 25, 2004
March 25, 2004

*hugs you*

No name sounds good enough to me. The Almighty

lol I’ve always felt detatched. So when you are done school, what ya going be with all these interesting classes ( socialism and other ism’s)?? Peace

I think you change your diary name more frequently than average people change their underwear, lol. When I look at my favorites list, I never know what it’s going to be!