Timmy

March 1, 2004

Next: I spent far too much time doing this.

Black.

I never meant to adopt the color black, really. It just sorta happened. A lot of cool shirts just happen to come in black. I just happen to like my black jean shorts. And so, on that day Sophomore Year in High School, it was pointed out to me that I was decked out in black. “Oh.”

I’ve had my hoodie for five years now. It’s at that point where it’s decomposing. Couple holes in the back. Seams coming apart. It’s blue – which really isn’t my color. My next hoodie is definitely going to be red, like that old sweatcoat I used to have. Red always was my favorite color. Red and black – they go together well.

I don’t remember depression feeling quite like this. Junior Year, it was the GOTO-school-and-put-on-a-smile routine, while I pained underneath. There is none of that now. What is now? What is this? I’m not sure what to make of this rut. I dismiss depression as a diagnosis when others suggest it. I had a good Saturday with Cliff, no buts about it.

My mood gently goes up and down. But I tend to default to a kind of “blah”. I remember my first two weeks back were happy. I annotated it. But I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s hard to even TRY to make myself TRY to do anything when I’d rather wallow in my own self-pity.

*sighs* I don’t know.

Is your hoodie a red hooded sweatshirt? Adam Sandler has one that, apparently, makes him very happy.

Liberalis Femina

RYN: EVERYTHING about Bush rubs me the wrong way. : )

I also adopted the color black and everyone tells me to wear color, I NEVER do. I dont know why, cool clothes are black. Depression is always different, causae each time it goes un treated it gets worse.

RYN: sorry I have the attention span of a….oh hey what’s that?

*pees on your face and poops in your mouth*

Helter Skelter

what if I flashed you. Not that I’m going to, but would it help?

Oh, i wrote that note before i read the entry. i still mean it, only now in a loving way.

So waddle! *hugs*

Pilgrim

Did you ever figure out your Shaggin’ Wagon or is it still brokey?

Black is very slimming. Although, clearly you don’t need it to be.

colige_grajuit

March 2, 2004

Red hooded sweatshirt…reminds me of Adam Sandler. 🙂

seabee

Red has always been my color.. I went through the black stage, but realized I had more red than any other color. Go figure, Aries, fire, red. Yeah.

Tiasanna

RYN: No, you don’t read it becsause for the informative value—it’s really quite basic—but because it’s funny writing and has been known on occasion to be amusing.

ShatteredSoul

*hugs you* hoodies r0x0r.

'Rella

I think you look quite smashing in black. 🙂 Be well,

shadowgift

it’s the lack of sunshine. uh-huh. the sunshine god has stolen your un-blahness because you didn’t observe the day of sun-worshipping.

Pessimistic Optimist

I’d say something terribly witty if I thought it’d help cheer you up, but I’ve been there and I know words do nothing. *hugs* I hope you get out of your funk soon.

HA! I saw your note over at Marla’s. I expect nothing less from you darling.

A Tool To Scream

Yeah, I’ve been there man. *pats back* my mood has been all over the place and……….it’s no fun at all. I love red and black….and gray. I wear so much black, it’s not even funny. *points to laundry*

Evil Peanut

Is your hoodie getting all frazzled on the cuffs and holey? Mine always start getting bad in that spot and it’s annoying. >: |

i think my deal is being happy on the inside, and pained on the out. now, how to reverse that….