Choices To Be Made, Part II

So.

I glanced at a practice midterm for Numb Anal. And I said to myself, “Even if I put my name on the test, I still won’t get any points. So, I had some thinking to do. Today is the last day you can drop a class and still get a “W”. Whatever withdrawing actually means. I could go fail the midterm and probably fail the course. Or, I could drop it and save my GPA from further degradation. *checks* I have a 2.44 GPA, as it stands. Whatever that means. I never understood the 4 point scale at all. Probably never will. All point systems are arbitrary, including the comfortable 100 point scale. They could just as easily have a ten point system or a 1000 point system, or a 69 point system.

Yeah, I dropped Numb Anal.

I suppose this is the semester I’ve been fearing. I have no time left. There is no, “I’ll figure it out later.” Past four years, I thought I’d figure it out “eventually”. The classes I pick for next semester seem to mean a lot. Though. It feels like there’s simply not enough time to take all the classes I want. What have I learned? What will I learn? You may think I’m crazy, but if it were up to me, I’d take all the core sciences. (Well, maybe minus those horrible labs. My AP lab ruled.) I’d probably take most intro classes. Just so I’d have a feel for everything. Economics, sociology, american government, hell, I’ll take that stupid Women Culture and Society class. *laughs* I tend to write off women’s studies as propaganda.

But no. That isn’t how college is. It’s ironic how the classes that would do you the most good aren’t required. What should be required? That’s not for me to say. I’m being general, after all. I will say that Math majors aren’t getting a very comprehensive education. *laughs* Please, is that all you do? That’s pretty narrow. The entire world, and you’re limited to just numbers. That’s nice. I’ll be really impressed if you take all that theory and actually use it for something useful, aside from intellectual masturbation.

Funny, and I used to be a math person. Still am, to some degree. I say this a lot, but I’ll reiterate anyway. I remember in kindergarten and 1st grade, when there were number lines on the bottom of the sheets. Know what I did? I foldered them under. I was above number lines. I was above counting on my fingers. I didn’t believe in it. I also remember when I theorized negative numbers in 2nd grade. *laughs* Such wasted potential, I am.

I also remember that I was a slow reader. I remember when we had to read things and then answer questions, and I’d answer a slew of “I don’t know.” I’d think to myself, “How am I supposed to know?” Maybe it was a reading comprehension issue. I’m thinking I was reading the words, but I wasn’t getting the meaning out of the words. Or maybe I was just lazy, who knows. *laughs* This would also explain my long loathing of reading.

Amusingly, I always have had a knack for writing, even though I never clearly recognized it until recently. I remember when we had stupid little writing assignments. I’d love doing them. I dare say I’d look forward to them. Yes, I remember in 4th grade when we had this bi-monthy writing assignments. I’d read other people’s works and think to myself, “This is so brief.” I remember that horribly stupid story Kamikazi Alert I wrote in 5th grade. Ha ha, I complained because I didn’t have enough time, so it was only six pages, hand-written. Which, back then, was a big deal. *laughs* I remember the 28 computer page sequel I wrote in 8th grade. Wow, that was the hugest ball of bullshit I’ve ever written. No wonder I can write BIGGAYDAN stories like crazy.

What kind of person am I know? That seems to be the question. My natural knack for computers will always be around. But, being resourceful when it comes to practical computers things means NOTHING when it comes to computer science. You can easily code without knowing jack about operational things.

Seems I’m being forced to make a choice. Choice. Which isn’t really much of a choice considering the entire world outside of Philosophy and Computer Science isn’t an option. But, give somebody your choice and a shitty alternative, they’ll think they have a “choice”. Fun little tangent which I won’t explore. (And I’m not saying that humorous example is the situation I’m in.) Ignoring the future now, I must look to the present. I still have four classes to pass. 14 credits. All is not lost. I think that if I just get my ass to the library every day, even for fifteen minutes, just to say I was there, I’ll be better off. Avoid, avoid, I do. But, I can’t avoid the future.