It Is Now Later.

Status Report

Wearing: Shredder shirt?

Stereo is Playing: Lukin – Pearl Jam (Why must some great songs be only a minute long?)

Last ate: Dining Hall Mexican.

Last round of masturbation: Last night.

Entry Start Time: 3:04 PM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

I finally left to go eat. Be proud I even bothered to leave the dorm. I was tempted to go on a hunger strike to try and motivate myself. I get some really crackpot ideas, sometimes. Few things remind you of your own humanity like hunger. “Oh. Shit. If I don’t eat, I’ll die!!” More often than not, I don’t eat because I’m hungry. I eat because if I don’t eat then, the dining hall will be closed later. I don’t get hungry later on a night anymore.

I noticed a little notice for something about Smash Bros. This Saturday, 9 – 11, Quad 1 Lounge. Normally I fly out of the door. (Actually, I was in the house right next to ours, because I’m closer to that door than my house door. But, nevermind.) So, I stood there for a second, propping the door open with my foot, staring at this notice. I typically avoid random social gathers.

But. Smash Bros Melee. *laughs* I’m sufficiently trained in the game to risk looking like a fool to strangers. As Kivudet would know, I’m prone to random stupidity. I mean, like jumping off the level. I do that so often I’ve stopped laughing. Also, save moves in Melee misfire a lot easier. Pikachu’s save move is so useless in Melee!!! That annoys me. They took all the good moves from the original and made them worthless. If I ever play as Kirby, I can’t use brick drop. That used to be so effective. In Melee, it’s SOO SLOOWWW. And grabs don’t do much damage. When I DO play as Kirby, I generally go for the swallow-and-walk-off-level routine. (And fly back up to the level after they die. Ha ha.) I don’t get a kill for it, but it’s the ultimate way to piss your opponents off. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?

I’m such a cheap shit. *laughs* If I go into combat, I’ll have to adopt some Kivudet style play. I mean, being a coward and running away. I actually like being chased. I’ve gotten decent as running away as Pikachu. Mostly because when I DID play as him, they’d all try to get rid of the “rat infestation”. (“They” referring to Lloyd and his friends, where Lloyd was my 2nd roommate.) PIKA!!!!

I pondered my options for what character to go with. PimpMaster Pikachu (Green Pimphat) is an obvious, but he’s a lightweight. Then again, all my characters are lightweights. Pikachu is a bitch on Hyrule because of his lightning. Lightning is one of the best projectile-type moves.

There’s Jedi Master JigglyPuff. (Green bandana.) Coma is one of the best moves in the game. When playing in a massive free for all, I typically charge the roll on one side of the board and just fire randomly. *laughs* I suck. I’m actually decent one-on-one with Jiggly. I’ve had to learn to be, because you can NOT rely on the coma when fighting one-on-one. Lots of rolling and lots of random hitting. And jumping! RUN AWAY!!!

And if I wanted to go for true finesse, I’d use Ness. Because. Come on. The bat rocks. *laughs* C-STICKIN` HOE!!! I’m far too easily amused.

I consider them to be my real three options. I could play as Luigi or Dr. Mario, but eh. Too melee for my taste. I could deke and use Game And Watch. He has a good aerial attack. Hmm. If anybody plays as Marth or Roy, I HAVE to play as Ness, because his electrical stuff negates parrying. I don’t like swords. Hate playing as them, hate playing against them.

*ahem*

So.

I skipped class again today. Numb Anal. I just. I just. I don’t know. I look at the overall picture. I said, “Okay, you’re skipping, you should at least study for the class.” I haven’t even openned the book. That sixty dollar or whatever book. And I haven’t openned it. “Well, do SOMETHING.” And somehow, I felt frozen.

It all sounds the same to me.

I wonder if part of me wants to fail. As if some vague way of sending a message to my dad that “Dude, I don’t like this shit.” At least with my philosophy classes, I do eventually get the readings done.

I don’t feel in control.

What is control? I don’t mean THEREPUBLICANMATRIX. Ha ha, maybe I can starve myself this weekend. Send a message to myself. “Want control? That’s control. Now go eat something.” Choice. It’s not that complicated. Just GOTO the library and read some shit. Think a little. Do some work. Yet I seem to have an adversion to it. Is it that difficult to make myself do some measily homework every week? Strange.

I think of myself as intelligent. I’d go so far as to saying that if we changed our intellect, we’d be different people. Failing does not change how smart I am. But it certainly does not reflect my potential. I almost want to fail just to see what would happen. I’ve failed two courses so far. Consequences? I haven’t really see any other than my dad reminding me that he’s paying for it.

I don’t feel in control.

I almost wish somebody could just tell me what I should do. Nobody can. I don’t really believe advisers are that special of people. Which adviser? Where? They don’t give a shit, they have enough problems. I’m not minimally exceptional. (Carlin reference. I’m smarter than minimally exceptional, thank you very much.)

Drifting. Drifting, floating. Coasting. What is a real job and where would I get one? Maybe I am in THEREPUBLICANMATRIX.

Whenever I watch TV in the dining hall, I always comment on the commercials. “Drugs make your life better!” “Cars can bring fulfillment!” I wonder if there’s anybody that thinks I should keep my big mouth shut.

Where does the time go? Time slips so fast from my grasp when I sit here, day in, day out. Just a few more hours and I could get a full-night’s sleep, every night.

I got a full night’s sleep last night. Went to bed at 2 AM, got up around 11. God damn, it felt good to wake up like that.

Those feminine undies made me feel sexy. At least, in some regards. (She bought me three, by the way.) Ah, to be female. Next lifetime, I say. I’m mildly surprised that I haven’t gotten requests yet. Did everybody miss the inference that I took pictures of myself? Whatever. I suppose my ass does look decent there. Let’s just say the other ones of my ass aren’t too pretty. *blushes* Hey, we’re all self-conscious on some level. To be completely free of self-consciousness is to have no attachment to your body. I consider myself attached to my body, as it’s my only means of perceiving the world. DON’T FUCK WITH MY BODY.

*ahem*

I think I’ll leave that picture up, for consistency. So that if people look back on this entry, they won’t wonder why everybody’s making random ass-comments.

Pics distributed by request only. Try AIM.
I’ll probably take other pics if inquired to do so. Though, I doubt any of you have the ovaries to ask.

Yeah. Stuff. I love my feminine undies. *giggles*