Timmy™
September 12, 2003

I Do Not Have Erectile Dysfunction.

Status Report

    Wearing: Simpsons shirt, red thong, red pants, black Vans. Don’t know why I still have my vans on, I’m not going out tonight.

    WinAmp is playing: Stay Away – Nirvana

    Last ate: Taco Salad

    Last round of masturbation: Couple hours ago, I believe.

    Entry Start Time: 10:57 AM

    What I’d like my DiaryName to be: Dave Barry.

    Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

I don’t like how, in porn, guys pull out and then jerk off on girl’s faces. Or their boobies. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the point of sex?

Speaking of porn, I’m getting closer to maxing out my hard drive. Um. Look at the properties of my partitions?


Where I keep all OS-related things.


Where I keep things that are personal and obvious not for mass distributing. If I really wanted to, I could just share my entire Cargo Bay on Direct Connect. But, I refrain.


The gut of my hard drive, where all my crap is. Highly organized, I assure you.

In case you haven’t figured it out, that’s how I have my hard drive organized. I could take a screenshot of my directory listing, but eh, nobody cares. Heck, nobody cares about this! So, why not show some random folder stats? Yes! Fun for everybody! *ejaculates all over his audience*


Of course, most of this is a mirror for my ex-neighbor’s music collection.


And to think, this folder is ALL ME.

Uhhh. Yeah. Actually, this entry has no point. Read some funny conversation?

Evil Peanut (10:59:33 PM): and my uterus is retrograde
Timmy (10:59:39 PM): Nothing wrong with being tipped.
Timmy (10:59:44 PM): one way or the other.
Evil Peanut (10:59:47 PM): I think if my uterus wasn’t tipped I wouldn’t have a problem
Timmy (10:59:48 PM): I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT.
Evil Peanut (10:59:54 PM): But because it is…his cock slams right into it
Timmy (10:59:57 PM): What guy knows about tipped uteruses?
Evil Peanut (10:59:58 PM): And damn it fucking hurts
Evil Peanut (11:00:00 PM): Hahaha
Timmy (11:00:03 PM): Seriously!
Evil Peanut (11:00:04 PM): Where did you learn about that?
Timmy (11:00:07 PM): I HAVE NO IDEA.
Evil Peanut (11:00:14 PM): lol

It’s a nice lazy weekend. I’m happy. Played a lot of Elite Force. I think I need to turn up the difficulty, I’m just owning the computer. For the heck of it, I turned the difficulty up to max (“Captain”), and the computer handed my ass to me in tiny plastic bags. Ahh, to be humbled.

Um.

With privacy, my sex drive is turning. I’m having much better erections than I was all summer. Home is where you masturbate the most. And, folks, dorm is home.

I’m eating a donut.

I need more batteries for my camera so I can take more pictures. Because, you know, getting more batteries for my camera will help me perform cunnilingus. Oh yes, makes complete sense to me!

I watched the movie “Gattaca” this evening. I wonder if the genetically superior would have larger penises. I also wonder if genetically superior women have pain-free menstruation.

I like the question Kivudet put forth to me. Who has a bigger penis, God or the Devil? A bigger penis can be very painful. But, it can also be very pleasurable.

It amuses me how my big thing of lotion is right out in the open. And really, why not? Easy access. And if anybody askes why it’s right on my desk, I can say, “Because that’s where I masturbate.” That will make the other person uncomfortable as I smile widely.

I want to marry a girl who wants to fuck a guy up the ass with a strap-on. Namely, me.

Log in to write a note
Evil Peanut
September 13, 2003

IT’S ME!!!!

Evil Peanut
September 13, 2003

Wow, I was first??? Amazing. Um, God has a bigger penis cause God made the devil and why would God give the devil a bigger penis? Duh.

Emerald Sapphires
September 13, 2003

ryn: lol none taken I know what you mean 🙂 I feel like I am about to explode lol.

laerima
September 13, 2003

hah! i have pain-free menstruation! i must be genetically superior! *does a little dance* hugs,

laerima
September 13, 2003

and gosh dang, but scribbling makes me HOT *scribble scribble* whee.. hugs,

Nothing wrong with lotion — you could always just say you have dry skin. 😉

Evil Peanut
September 13, 2003

Yes. *stares down the Timmy*

Evil Peanut
September 13, 2003

TIMMY’S PENIS IS COMPARABLE TO MY TANGERINE JELLY BEANS!!!

laerima
September 13, 2003

damn i want a tangerine jelly bean now. thanks EP! *munches the scribbled note instead* mmm sexy and yummie note.. yum *munch munch* hugs,

Perhaps you were a gynocologist in a former life… or a very frisky youth during the 50’s where the closest thing to porn for you was reading opposite sex studies in the encyclopedia 😀

Pixel
September 13, 2003

I like the pictures. Very interesting…*nods* Pfft. Hehehe. Silly man.

My note is in reference to you knowing what a tilted uterus is… I guess I should have clarified my note from the beginning. ;

Dude. God’s hung like a hangnail. And Satan’s wider than he is long. Believe me, I know.

Evil Peanut
September 13, 2003

*eats your jellybean*

wow. Computer stuff…..lots of it. It all goes over my head, though. And I’m glad you don’t have E.D. I wouldn’t want to have to hunt you down some Viagra. :-p

Cameo-Brinks
September 13, 2003

Unsolicited advice: Dump the entire ex-girlfrinds music mirror. Burn half the gut. And I am going to buy me a strap-on.

Pixel
September 13, 2003

RYN: Well, maybe you should share the porn with people, then delete it from your computer. Then when you want to see it, be all like: “Remember that porn I sent you? Yeah..can you send it to me again?” And then watch it and delete it…Repeat. Hehehe.

Cameo-Brinks
September 13, 2003

uh correction…move ex-girlfriend:replace.ex-neighbor

Pixel
September 13, 2003

RYN: I -so- would save the porn!! Too bad I share my computer…Wonder what my dad or brother would say if they saw I had porn…Hrmm..

Pixel
September 13, 2003

Oddly, I think my brother would watch it and not tell me he watched it. He’d like the girl on girl. And I think my dad won’t say anything.

ryn: I have come to like STI more the SETI… it’s more fun 😀

Over Dose
September 13, 2003

I stay clear of porn which involved a lot of cumshots. I don’t see how people can get pleasure from watching that.

Pixel
September 14, 2003

Heehee. You’re so silly!

I miss you,Timmy. I’m going to renew this week. So,I’ll be back here within two weeks,depending on how long it takes for my $20.00 to reach NJ. I will be keeping a low,uneventful profile when I make a new Diary,because I do not do drama well,at all. I love you very much. Guess who?

You want to marry a girl who will anally molest you with a strap on? Dang you are one kinky fella.

You need an a/c adapter for your camera. *nods* <3

:: emits penis :: :: emits strap-on :: You have only 5 GB of porn? Not terribly deviant, are you? We’ll make a republican out of you yet. (They have all the really good porn).

Cameo-Brinks
September 14, 2003

hey..I mean..cant you burn some of the 100gig ‘gut’ of your hard drive? I mean, so much of my storage could be trashed really..but I burn it to cd’s and file them just for sentimental value..old business plans, photo surveys from years ago.etc. Then of course defrag..I get tons of fresh space that way..

Halogenic
September 14, 2003

RYN: That’s true…I’ve always been one to question the unquestionable as well 🙂 I love Direct Connect…so much good stuff on there. You should use PeerGuardian to block the IP’s of the RIAA if you plan on sharing music. Or maybe you already do.

!Guero
September 14, 2003

strap ons are awkward I’ve heard. I have a jumbo-sized bottle of Astroglide on my mantle. Well, I HAD a huge bottle… umm…thats really all I can say.

NaturalMom
September 14, 2003

you have my computer weirdo over here talking about the color setup you have on your computer. heh. ~ajaye

I need a computer tech to fix my damn dell,it will not defrag and scan disk is running quite funky as well. do you want to come over and fix it? i’ll give you lots of loving. *wink*

Kelly
September 14, 2003

I think you and I both know how I feel about my men and strap-ons.

Cameo-Brinks
September 14, 2003

ok ok on the burn trash thing…just trying to help..I Dooooo babysit a few machines..(feeling cocky here/now bout my machine experise:) Good notes/info on the strap-on.

laerima
September 14, 2003

i’m laughing at your DD background. EP suggested the tape thing, didn’t she? hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

beautiful people are attractive. i have that written in my homework. i can’t imagine why. hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

i noticed that you blurred it. i didn’t think it looked quite right, so i looked closer. yep. hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

you could do my homework for me. well no, i suppose you couldn’t. cheesewhiz. for random fun, you could go visit my English teacher’s website and look through all the junk i have to do for my course. (http://jonesjdavid.tripod.com/Eng3U/index.htm) or not. lol hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

somehow i think that it’d be a little late if i mailed it to ya =P hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

wait, what?

laerima
September 14, 2003

lol i’m lost homework doesn’t matter any more i’m done the cheesy stuff hugs,

laerima
September 14, 2003

lol if you’re French then it’s pronounced how it’s spelled… lol. and hey, i am a weird gal! say cheese, it’s cheese, whatever,

laerima
September 14, 2003

isn’t it a rammstein lyric? that’s what i thought it was.. hugs,

Elite Force? I didn’t really like it. For me, I can tolerate Start Trek, and I can tolerate computer games. Doing bothe at the same time just makes me feel nerdy.

M*
September 16, 2003

Well, we’ll never be able to say you aren’t honest.

You just pick up on random little things……haha yeah, you’re not supposed to know about that! 😛

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