I’m Not Talking To You, Part II

Good job, you dumbass, you checked the char limit. Yeah, so? If you’re writing in notepad, you don’t need to check the char limit. I know that. It’s fun to know how much room I have left. What did I just say? Hey, am I supposed to avoid wasting time at all costs? You know how long I take in the shower. Yeah, I still can’t figure out how you take so long. How long did you take last time, forty minutes? Around there. Twenty minutes less than an hour! Think of how much water you’re wasting. Oh? Think of how many things we’ve killed in a lifetime to survive. A little water isn’t a big deal. If you want to save the world, stop fucking existing. Wow, you grew balls. Hard to argue with logic like that. Good boy. Don’t patronize me. Nice little Timmy. Would you like me to kick you in the nuts? I think we’d enjoy that too much. Uh, no we wouldn’t. You remember when I hit our left testicle when we were on the phone with Poptart? Yeah, how could I forget? We just crumpled to the floor. Totally. Let’s not do that again. Agreed.

You’re on your second entry, do you have something important to say? Not really. Do I ever have anything important to say? Well, it sure seems like it. Like I asked you before, what drives you? Why are you still babbling about the same ol` topics? I know what you’re talking about. You better. Though, I think you’re much more relaxed than you used to be. I remember when you kept trying to top yourself in each entry. I’m glad you’ve finally decided that it’s OKAY to write a sucky entry. I never said it’s okay to suck. That’s because you always suck. Okay, I won’t even try to figure out where that came from. Ha ha, I win again! Fuck you. We always do every night. Pervert.

I suppose I’ll try to answer your question since you seem to want me to say something meaningful. Yes, do try that. Well, you’re right, I used to try topping myself. You know which entries I’m talking about. Oh, don’t I know it. Sex sells. I don’t know, panties isn’t really sex. Oh, you’re so full of shit. “Panties cover a girl’s Area.” You’re a flaming pervert and you know it. Hey, I created the term “Area” to be cleaner! Yeah, so you could say pussy more. I did not! Come on, just admit it, you’re a pervert. Okay, I am, happy now. Not quite. You’ve got to say it with convinction! Why are you picking on me? I told you before, it’s entertaining to me.

New paragraph. What are we talking about? I don’t know, you decided to read a back entry by The Underwear Girl. For somebody who has the dedication to write his entire life story spread across fourteen entries in three days, you get distracted easily. Yeah, well, it’s not like we’re writing about a common topic here, are we? I suppose not. Wait, what are we talking about again? I told you, I don’t know!

Fine, let’s try this again. For the last time, why do you still write? Well, there’s always many ways to hit a topic. Maybe there are, go on. I’ve hit all the big topics, in my opinion. Big topics, that’s a laugh. You call writing a religion dedicated towards the Vagina a big topic? Yes. Yes, it is, because The Vagina should be respected. You pervert. Laugh all you want, I’d like to see somebody else write something like that. Well, okay, I have to give you credit there. I’ve never seen anybody use the word “Vagina” so many times in my life. You’re really proud of Pussism, aren’t you? Yes, yes, I am. I hope to create more works like it. Well, not like it, but just things that I can be proud of. Weren’t you the slightest surprised when I randomly wrote BIGGAYDAN Strikes Back? Actually, I was, I thought the BIGGAYDAN series was dead. Well, HA HA, BITCH, YOU WERE WRONG. I’m wasn’t wrong, I’m always right. You asswench. But.. you can’t just randomly say you’re always right when you were so obviously wrong. I’m right. But you.. I’m always right! Ha ha. YOU LOSE! There’s no use arguing with you, is there? Nope. Just give in and give us a handjob already. I will later tonight, you already know that. You better, or I’ll fuck with your sleep cycle. Fine fine, I PROMISE I’ll masturbate tonight. That’s better. Can we watch that lesbian porn again? Well, if it makes you happy, I suppose. Can we look at Poptart at orgasm like we did last night? We’ll see, okay, I don’t plan those things. Ha ha. Mister Sponatanious himself. You’re mocking me and I know it. I so am. You suck. Shut up!

You know, the way you’re bopping your head must look pretty silly to someone who likes rap. Ha ha, like BIGGAYDAN. Hey, lay off him, okay? Me? What did I say? I said he likes rap. You’re the one that writes stories about him. Yeah, well, they’re all just jokes. Not to be taken seriously. Yeah, and why is making fun of his taste in music such a bad thing? Because, dude, we really don’t have an opinion on rap either way. We don’t? We don’t. Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. But, it is fun to make fun of the way BET has brainwashed Black America, isn’t it? That’s not really funny, it’s more just sad. I think it’s funny. We should start a Timmy Channel. We could brainwash the world and create more Timmys! I don’t know, it’s hard enough just dealing with you. Oh, but they don’t see me. They only see you. I’m inside you. I’m you. You said that just to quote Metallica. Yes. Yes, I did. Can you do Rapper’s Delight for me sometime soon? Why, I thought you hated rap? Don’t you listen to yourself, we don’t have an opinion on rap. It’s just amusing how you have most of it memorized. Oh. I’ll download it sometime and I’ll do it for you. Deal? Deal.

You know, thanks to all this babbling of yours, we missed most of the first Simpsons. 6:30 and 7. You said we’d watch both today! I know, I suck. You sure indeed. You never miss a chance to rip at me, do you? I wouldn’t miss a chance to rip at you for the world. We do need to go eat dinner. Want to sit here babbling some more, or would you like some Tillett Surprise? I don’t know, what’s Tillett Surprise? You dumbass, I’m just refering to the fact that we don’t know what’s for dinner. Oh. Um. That wasn’t very funny. I never said I was. You suck. Shut up!

I’m so glad I don’t have a brother. I once said that if there ever was another Timmy, I’d kill him. Damn straight, because you don’t want him to make you look bad. And that dick of yours, damn, you’re never getting a can of LAIDTM. Would you shut up!!