I’m Not Talking To You, Part I

Status Report

Wearing: Most colorful shirt I have. Silver g-string. *giggles* Red pants.

WinAmp is playing: Unnamed Feeling – Metallica

Last ate: Two donuts. Had a “California wrap” for lunch. I like those.

Last round of masturbation: Last night. I used my cock ring. Of course, if you checked the Addendum(s) on the entry two before this, you’d know that already.

Entry Start Time: 5:51 PM

What I’d like my DiaryName to be: Bullshit Inc.

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

Of course, “Bullshit Inc.” is simply a play on the fact that the entire previous entry is bullshit. It’s fun to exercise my bullshit muscles. It’s all Kivudet’s fault. Even I didn’t think I was capable of such mind-hurting irrationalizations.

So, Timmy, how are you doing? Pretty good, you? Oh, I’m fine. Keeping you out of trouble, as assume. Trouble, ha, I almost never get myself into trouble. Or so you let yourself believe.

Are you still going to tell people that you hate college? Yeah, I suppose I will. Why, you fool? Because it’s fun. It’s like I’ve said before, college is overrated. It’s a giant lie. They pump these lies into you, saying how great and fun college will be. When, in reality, it’s one giant disappointment. You silly Timmy, why’d you listen to them? Because we have to learn about the world from somewhere? I suppose you’re right. If we simply rejected all information that came our way, we’d cease to function. I like functioning. I know you do. *nods*

What’s your major? I tell people I’m Comp Sci. Is that really want you want? Want? I never said I wanted it. I’m just saying that’s what I’m telling people and what it seems I’m leaning towards? You got any better ideas? Not really. I tend to agree with your notion that we should just get the hell out of here with a paper in our hands saying that we know something useful. Yeah, that’s basically what I say. Took a while for me to realize that the degree is just a starting place. I have to survive in the world, somehow.

But, you’re not happy with it, are you? Nope, CS is anus. I don’t particularly like it. So, aside from the reason above, why are you still doing it? Because I know I can do it. Yeah, and I know you can also do any other of the science. You could major in philosophy if you really wanted to. If I really wanted to. You realize Dad would kill us. Well, he’d kill you, I’d be fine. Ha ha. I’ll just laugh my ass of. Shut up, foo. Oh yeah, make me? Uh, dude, that’s kinda hard to do. Yeah, that’s what I thought! Don’t make me hit you against a wall! Yeah, well, if you do that, I’ll hit YOU against a wall! Oh well um. Yeah.

You didn’t like that lecture today in programming languages, did you? No, I didn’t. It just dragged on. It seemed like he was going too slow. Isn’t that a good thing for college? Well. I don’t know. You liked that Philosophy of Science Fiction lecture. Yeah, it was fun watching him rant and rave for 80 minutes, half of the time being completely off-topic. He obviously knows his stuff about philosophy and can think on the spot. He said he’s never taught the same course twice. That signifies to me that he’s teaching the course for fun. Yeah, but doesn’t that mean he doesn’t have a specialty in the area? Maybe, but I’d rather taken a guy whose had a PhD for ten years teach a course for the first time than some graduate student who knows more about that area. Well, assuming the guy with the PhD was a good teacher, like he is.

Kinda funny how St. Anger is growing on you. Yeah, it is. Don’t you think you’re just liking it to be rebellious? No, not really. Isn’t the rebellious thing to do to hate Metallica? Uh, actually I have no idea. We never really keep track of what things are rebellious and which aren’t. Yeah, we just irrationally pick sides. It’s fun, isn’t it? Very. Regardless, I know I like the album. I think the only reason it got slammed by some and loved by others is because it’s Metallica. Do enough of something, and there are expectations. Yeah, don’t I know what that’s like. It’s not a great album by any means. But, it’s a good album, nonetheless. Why are we talking about this? I don’t know, I was just making a note about the fact that we got a craving for Metallica. Oh, yeah. Let’s think about something else. Done.

Aren’t panties cool? They are. But, we don’t need to talk about that, I think the entire world knows our love of feminine undies. You’re right. Ever consider getting a sex change? What the hell are you smoking? You tell me, you’d be the one smoking it. Shut up! Just because I love girls so much and want to be one in the next life doesn’t mean I want to cut off my weiner. You know, it is kinda small. So? That’s why I have a tongue. Touche`.

You had a really good topic to think about last night, didn’t you? It might have been the night before, but I don’t remember. Wanna make something up and see where it ends up? Actually, not right now. People write fucking books on the question, “What is real?” I don’t think you want to start now mid-entry. Good point.

There’s something I’ve always wondered about you. What is it? Well, what is it that keeps you going? I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Dude, you never did establish why you should even keep living, beyond the fact that if you die there’s no chance to continue experiencing life. That is to say, we will all experience death in our lifetime. At the end of it. What drives you? Damn it, why do you keep wanting to ask all these deep questions? I don’t know, it kinda entertains me to watch you squirm. *grumbles* Fine, I’ll bullshit something for you, will that make you happy? Very.

I seek to better myself? You silly Timmy, how do you know what better is? I don’t. I think one of the key words I’ve been using lately is “functional.” Why do I like being nice? It functions to make people nicer to me. On the other hand, why do I have no problem ruffling people’s feathers? Because it functions to scare away people that otherwise wouldn’t be able to stand me if I were to just say what’s on my mind. I believe in honesty. Even if it hurts? Even if it hurts. Well, unless it’s a girl asking if she’s fat. I think that’s grounds to bullshit you. No it isn’t, tell her she’s got a large frame and that she should accept herself. Dude, she’ll see through that and say, “YOU THINK I’M FAT!” What’s to see through? We don’t have anything against larger women. We kinda like them. *chuckles* Indeed we do. I suppose you’re right, I was just saying that for the sake of argument. Yeah, you sissy, don’t argue with me. I don’t try to argue with you, you always pick fights with me. Yeah, and I always win, ha ha.