St. Anger.

Status Report

Wearing: Flowery red button-up shirt, the cords I’ve been wearing for who knows how many weeks

Feeling: :: emits Aura ::

WinAmp is playing: St. Anger – Metallica

Last ate: Bagel with cream cheese (You know, that WHITESTUFF)

Entry Start Time: 2 PM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

This is reaching a level of depression. I mean. I wouldn’t hire myself, would I? Monkey jobs. It’s like there’s something I’m missing. Not personally, just something I’m not seeing. Don’t yell at me, I did try today. Yell at me tomorrow if I lock myself in my room again. I’m not a complete hermit, just a partial one. I’m a creature of the night.

I’ll admit, I haven’t handed in half the applications I’ve gotten. Why bother adding to the rejection? I don’t have any special qualifications that would make Kohl’s or fucking RJ Mars hire me. Pity CVS didn’t have any applications at the time. I should go back tomorrow. CVS would be a decent place to work.

It’s my fault, anyway. It’s a time factor. If I had a day or two before seeing Hairbrush, I would have gone job hunting. But no, I didn’t have the energy or motivation after that weekend. I didn’t think it would take this long. And now? I’m not needed. That’s the economy for you. I’m not important. Any idiot can do anything I can do.

Some places just rub me the wrong way. Staples rubbed me the wrong way. The movie theatre rubbed me the wrong way. Just the looks I get from people. “Oh, you want to work HERE?” As if they think I’m an idiot for wanting to work there. I don’t look like the type of person you see in most places. Everybody looks like Jamal, except without the creamy white stuff on their hands. Maybe I should examine the Help Wanted ads again. Mow lawns for the summer. It would eat my shoes, but they’re three years old. (But, they look new, I swear!) I can buy new ones.

I haven’t broken down yet. I broke down last year. Part of me is accepting the sentiment, “Wow, I might be unemployed all summer.” I’m remembering how I spent all those summers past, before last year. Solitude. I like summer, in the general sense, the weather. But summertime, I hate. At least, I used to. No school. What am I supposed to do with my time? At least now I can do shit. Ah, but shit costs money. I’m good with money, but I’m not THAT good with money.

Maybe it’s a matter of pride. Dignity. For example: I refuse to be a cum-mopper. (Besides, imagine me trying to tell my parents that.) Maybe I just don’t have any testicles. I don’t have the nerves to be a waiter. At least, not at the moment. It’s like I need someone to hold my hand while I do this, but at the same time, if anyone were to try and help me, I’d be insulted. I like to know what I’m getting myself into. Wouldn’t want to rock my perfect little world.

(I watched Clerks last night, by the way.)

Despite being unemployed, I bought St. Anger today. (Bet you were wondering when I’d get to that.) I went over to the Wiz because it’s close. I remember when Steal This Album came out, they had a huge promotion. And. Um. Wiz is closed! What the fuck? *laughs* I never bought much from the store, but it was fun to go in. Where will I buy walkmans, now?

Before I go any further, I’d like to disavow any expertise in music, whatsoever.

It’s music. I had zero expectations. Well, they’re Metallica. If you’re expecting another (insert album name), then well um, stuff. What does it sound like? Metallica. Continuing a tradition of having the drums shoved up to the front after they get a new bassist um. *laughs* Lars DOES sound like he’s hitting a trash can through the whole album. It’s not as distracting as you might think.

I’d like to state that Metallica could play flutes and mandolins and I’d probably still buy the album. Imagine if RAMMS+EIN did a polka album. ..and Til Lindermann sets himself on fire while dancing…

There are no straight guitar solos. No, it doesn’t take away from the album too much. Yes, Hammett actually plays on the album. I checked the credits. They weren’t shitting about letting him play. They credits say “All songs written by Hetfield/Ulrich/Hammett/Rock.” The bass is weak, for most of the album. No surprise there. There seems to be a lot of strip-down, build-up.

The only reason people will diss this album is because it’s Metallica. If a no-name band put out this album, people would think it’s decent. Heh, what do I know? Each album has it’s own sound. Ride The Lightning sounds no more like Master of Puppets than Justice sounds like The Black Album. It’s music. It’s worth the money I paid for it. Pity I don’t have a DVD player. There’s a free DVD on it. Um. *shrugs* I’ll watch it in someone else’s house.

I’ve only listened to it once, but that’s usually the best indication of an album. There was no feeling like when I first listened to Mutter. *chuckles* Then again, no Metallica album has wowed me on the first listen, except for Justice. Most music doesn’t impress me. Anti-Christ Superstar collected figurative dust until I listened to it again, and saw how good of an album it is.

I once said that Metallica’s next album would make or break them. St. Anger is decent. After the first listen, I’d put it over Load. That’s saying a lot, I’m the kind of freak that likes Load. Who knows what direction they’ll go in. Every album sounds different. Here’s hoping they put something else out in this decade. Now all I need to do is buy that new Weird Al album.

Oh. Speaking of mindless promotion… There’s going to be a Metallica video game? The sheer shock of it had my jaw dropped when I watched the ‘preview’. It’s less a preview and more of an advertisement. It said it would be out 2005. *laughs* I’m amused.

***

Oh. And, what are references? I know about integers and objects and floats, and private, protected and public variables. Human references, I just don’t get.