A ‘Brief’ History of Timmy, Part XIV

As I said, being with Hairbrush was different. Everything we did, it felt right. I have no regrets. I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone, physically. We did not have sex, I have no interest in it. I will have sex when I’m emotionally and financially ready. And when we got out of bed, Saturday morning, we realized how far we went. And that we could barely talk to each other with clothes on. Friday night, we talked before falling asleep. Saying everything we wanted to say. Hairbrush is the closest I’ve gotten to having a deep relationship with someone, where you can share anything and everything, without fear of a reaction from the other. The only thing missing is normal mundane conversation. When we were out in public, she felt ackward during silences. This will take time, as all things do. No rush, no rush at all. Time will tell the tale of our lives, as it always does.

I came home, intent on getting a job. I haven’t. I will, eventually. I need money for Chi-Chi’s. I need money for jews. (Not The Jew, just juice.) I need money for gas. I need money for CD’s and sex toys. I’m thinking of getting a rubber pussy, next. If girls can have artificial penises, why can’t I have an artificial Vagina? Masturbation is practice for when you have a partner, after all.

I will get a job, this summer, and I will enjoy it, one way or another. I have lots of fun with my long-haired friends. I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll make another pilgrimage to Minnesota. While I do want to see Miami, if I go, I’ll be going more with my Grandma in mind. Hairbrush and I will make an effort to see each other. I hope our relationship works. I don’t mean just saying, “Okay, we’re together.” I mean, I want to see growth. I want to see change. I want to see everything remaining as it has been, open, honest, and free with each other. We’ve talked about me helping her move into the dorm. I know she’ll need a hand, and I’d be happy to help.

I’ll go back to the dorm, and should have my second roommate back. If Hairbrush and I are official, we will visit each other on random weekends. If not, we will remain some form of close friends. We’re too mature to just ignore each other. I will continue to send in articles to The Medium, under a psuedonym. I will continue to write for Open Diary, and will undoubtedly declared myself Dictator of Open Diary by then. I will console Princess while she is in Australia, away from all her Loyola friends. (Maryland campus) I’ll probably avoid the people that seem to know me around campus. Will I make friends? It’s hard to say. Regardless of what happens with Hairbrush, I will have The Van on campus, even if I have to pay for the damned permit myself.

Princess will return to the states in November, and have a lot of time on her hands. Maybe we’ll see a hockey game like we did last October. If Hairbrush and I are still together, we’ll spend a LOT of time with each other over winter break. If she hasn’t by then, she’ll meet my long-haired friends. Her friends will see a lot of me, too. Next summer, I will realize, “Wow, in a year, I’m going to have to get a REAL job.” I will realize that I don’t have any clue how that will actually be done. I will stall with getting a job, like I am this summer. Kivudet will have graduated High School, FINALLY. At least, he better. General Disk Error and Grunge will have finished their first year of college, or whatever they’re doing with their lives.

In May 2005, I will graduate from Rutgers University with a BS in CS, with a minor in Philosophy. If Hairbrush and I will be looking at apartments for the following year. I will get a REAL JOB, and we will live together, waking up together in each other’s arms, and having lots of HOTGAYSEX. Whether she likes it or not, she will finish college and get a degree in the field of her choice. Kivudet will either have commited suicide, be clueless about what he’ll do with his life, or be excited about the fact that HE’S FINALLY OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL.

Hairbrush and I will get married. I will invite Princess, as if she thinks I won’t. Our first fat baby (fat babies are healthy, mind you) will be a girl, and we will name her Vixa. I will be a loving, present, and otherwise great father and wife. Hairbrush will have lots of my babies. *laughs* If we have another girl, we will name her Shirley. If we have sons, their foreskins will remain intact over the glans of their penises. Oh, and the first one will be named Kavi, and the second.. maybe Xavier.

We will have a loving, open family. We will talk to our children about sex, and will be sure to have lots of HOTGAYSEX throughout our lives together. We will have Family Board Game Night and Family Card Night. The family card came of Pinochle will live on. We will visit old Grandma Shirley on the Farm, and they will have lots of fond memories of being there, much like I do. We will have road trips, which they will bitch, moan, and complain about at the time, but will look back upon fondly. We will encourage our children to masturbate, and give them all the sexual knowledge they desire. We will not demonstrate how to masturbate.

I will grow old, get gray hairs, and lose my memory. I will remember the weekend I met Hairbrush, but will forget the most recent weekend, where I forgot to put my pants on, and scared all our neighbors when I went to get the paper. I will either maintain my long hair, or cut it off, and show pictures to my kids of me when I was a rebellious young lad. I will teach my sons that it’s okay to cry. I will teach my daughters not to let anybody push them around.

I will write my Memoirs, accounting the accomplishments of my life. Timmy: A life not unlike every other’s. I will feel satisfied with my life, because I knew I lived it the way I wanted to. Because I brought joy into other people’s lives. Because I opened a chain of Timmy’s Taco Salads and Donuts. Because I masturbated a lot. Because I lived. I will not dread death. I will accept it, and live out my final days bringing more joy into the lives of others. I will die in my sleep, painlessly, forever wrapped in the bliss of eternal sleep.

Remember people, and you will remember events. Maybe that’s why I don’t remember much from my youth. Remember events, and you will remember people. I don’t forget people. Never. It’s amazing how people can touch your lives without them ever even knowing. My greatest fear is to die alone. To think that will ever happen is ludicris.