I Still Smile

It never ceases to amaze me how many things in life don’t come easily. It always seems that no matter how good things are, eventually everything falls apart and I end up broken on the ground wishing I was a little kid again so someone could pick me up and hug me and tell me that everything will be alright.

It’s been nearly a year since we first shared a bed and a bathroom and a kitchen and a home. It took much less than a year for me to forget how I ever got by without you around all the time. I really do miss you when I’m away all the time.

Sometimes it amazes me just how much having someone like you in my life can change things. Everything from who I am to what I am is different because you are a part of my life. In all honesty, you’re really a huge part of me.

You are definitely the best, most goodest part of my life. And although we had to go through a couple years of hardly ever seeing each other, I think it was a good thing in the end because it taught us to be close even when we were hundreds of miles apart.

I love knowing you. I love the fact that there are tons of little, seemingly trivial quirks about you that the majority of people don’t know. I love the fact that even though you may just be another pretty girl to other people, I know just how much more you really are (and it’s fine if they don’t know cause I don’t need any competition).

I live to make you happy. Not just the, “Oh, you did the dishes,” type of happy, but when I can see your eyes light up and I know that something I did or said honestly made your day. I wish I could do that every day.

Looking back it’s almost hard to recognize who we used to be. The boy who was a depressed drunk who had given up on everyone is now the fairly content guy who is writing about the shy, withdrawn girl who now loves to snuggle and doesn’t even mind occasionally riding shotgun in my truck or talking to strangers.

Time can be such a strange thing.

In a way it seems that time is a bit like money. If you use it wisely and invest it right, it can greatly benefit you and take care of you in the future.

Thank you for being who you are to me and for caring about me as much as you do (even though I’ll never understand why). Thank you for being my best friend in the world and for being there to help me be strong when all I want to do is collapse into a heap on the floor. Thank you for helping me know what it means to truly care about someone more than I care about myself and for helping me to try and turn “I love you” into a way of life.

Even after as long as we’ve known each other and been together, you still amaze me. There are lots of times when you’ll be laying in my arms and I still can’t wrap my mind around just how wonderful you are and how privileged I am to get to be the guy to be with you forever. Even though the initial “newness” of being together so much has worn off a bit I still smile, many times when you aren’t even looking, when I stop and think about you.

There really aren’t words to describe everything I wish I could say to you, so this will have to suffice.

I love you. More than anything or anyone or whatever. I love you and I am very, VERY glad that you’re my girl and in my life.