Monster In My Mirror (poem)
Time has passed and now Im old
I never fit the normal mold
Too much time here in this place
Yet hard to see it in my face
Hiding what lies deep inside
The seething hatred never died
Too much that I can’t take back
If Ive a soul, my soul is black
Charred by years of doing wrong
Years Ive lived have been too long
Unlike others, Im still here
To see the monster in my mirror
No more repentance left for me
Not one chance of living free
With miles of chains upon my back
Its self-forgiveness that I lack
I cant forget a thing Ive done
So many things I once thought fun
Cant tell the truth now from my lies
My heart is dead, yet daily dies
Ripped to shreds, no one can mend
This free will kills me in the end
Chances used with no more new
Do all I swore I wouldnt do
So if its pain you want to see
Look through my eyes down into me
Life is now so fucking great
I have become the man I hate
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For now theres no redeeming
Sub-conscience all consuming
Untamed my rage is burning
The scars I wear unbarring
Untie the reasons that keep me restrained
This is the season, the season of hate
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Why am I a victim to myself?
When everything burns
My torture lies within
Am I a victim to myself?
When everything burns
My tortured life
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It rips right through me.
*
Ill Nino