At Last You See Me Drown

People have always been curious about what the future holds. People have looked to the stars, sought out prophets, gazed into crystal balls, studied the lines on their hands, and paid $2.95 a minute on psychic hotlines. As far as being curious goes, I’m no different. Yet I’ve found a different way to see through the cloud of events yet-to-come in my life.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not somewhat satisfied with how my life is going. I’d also be lying if I said that I’m completely happy and content.

There are lots of times when I’m much too busy to think about all that, and thus it has no effect on me. Then there are times, like right now, when it’s the middle of the night, I’ve got some cool mood-lighting going, the smoke from cig number 5194 dances and mixes with the incense wafting through the air, and thoughts like these all at the forefront of my consciousness.

Unlike some people, I know what the cure for my not-quite-perfectly-happy state is, and I’ve also figured out when my happy-meter will rise to the top. Unfortunately it won’t be for a while. Somehow though, knowing the exact day when that will change helps make the present much more bearable.

One other thing that’s nice is that I have sporadic periods of paradise in between the mountains of mundane in my life. Hopefully I can make those intermittent patches of sunlight a bit more frequent, but that kind of depends on finances and all.

Someday my present will be bright
When holding on won’t be a fight
The day will come and I’ll be whole
When I find part-two of my soul

Perhaps none of this really makes sense. Then again, maybe it does. Or I may have possibly forgotten how to write in this thing since I haven’t done it for so long.

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“Cause I don’t believe in this world anymore
I don’t believe in me
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And if I can rise above this I’ll be saved
Can anybody save me?
And if I can die for love then I’m enslaved
Can anybody save me?
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Goodbye cruel world
At last you see me drown.”
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Seether