Soul Selling

If it’s a bad thing to sell your soul to Satan, why isn’t it a bad thing to try and sell it to God?

After months and months of having my hopes crushed twice weekly every time I loose the lottery, I decided that I need to find a different way to get rich. The problem is that I really have no way of doing that (not legally anyhow).

All I am is a semi driver who barely got out of high school with a diploma (which was from lack of effort, not lack of brains). I have no college degree and I have no real business sense. I’m not an economist or an investor. Just when I began to sink into the depression of my mind I remembered one thing that I DO know a lot about.

God and Christianity.

In the years that I’ve been in Christianity, and when I was trying to be one, I got quite an education. Some may not believe this but yes, the same guy who has written all the whacked out shit in here and who made a fake shower-suicide picture of himself has had a whole lot of Bible school. Not only that, but he has preached in churches both here in the US and in England. There was a time that he was a role-model, “on fire” for God, charismatic and a bit of a radical.

There are three types of preachers/pastors that pretty much all preachers and pastors fall into. The first are those who have very firm convictions that what the Bible says is true and can’t be compromised. These are the people who usually don’t have huge followings or massive churches, because they tend to tell people the “truth” no matter what. They are more concerned with being honest and trying to help people find God than they are about if someone gets offended by what they say.

The second group are the people who have a lot of head knowledge, yet lack the internal conviction to actually make a mark. They may be able to put together a “good” sermon (as can anyone with a little practice), but when all is said and done they lack any real zeal or passion for what they are doing.

The third group are the people who intentionally use God for a paycheck. They are the ones who couldn’t give a rat’s ass what they SHOULD be telling people. In the back of their head they know what they probably should be doing, but popularity means job security and they know it. They are the ones who tend to have bigger churches, lots of money, and a mass of followers who can’t wait for the next sermon to tell them that everything is fine, that they’re all cool with God and going to heaven, and that God is going to prosper them down here on Earth.

Some of you won’t recognize these names, and some of you might. But people like Benny Hinn, T.D. Jakes, and Kenneth Hagin have made a KILLING off of being preachers. Why can’t I?

A quick run through my diary will show that I think about God and stuff like that quite a bit. All I’d have to do is modify the flow of things and mix in some scripture, and I could easily be right up there in the Holy Money Club. I know how to play people’s emotions, I’m a fairly good actor, I can say the right things, and I could easily get fat offerings.

Yeah, I hate church and all that people do there…but I could fake it in order to get a nice fat check. I’m damned already, so I might as well make a living off it.

Anyhow…I watched The Butterfly Effect last night. I saw the ending and I wanted to cry; I wished I could go back and do that (and if you don’t know what I mean, see the movie). This flick is going to be up towards the top of my favorite movies list.

I got some new CD’s today too. I can’t stop listening to Earshot’s CD “Two.” Try it, you’ll like it.

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“I
Wonder what the day will bring tomorrow
When I wake
Why
Do I decide to dwell on mistakes I haven’t made
Maybe I’m afraid
So I try
(I try to find the words to explain…)
*
Why I seem so down
*
Don’t ask why
I could care less of the world outside
One more time
I will come out of the dark of my mind
Who knows what I’ll find
Still I try
(I try to find the words to explain…)
*
Why I seem so down
*
So I look for a dark place to hide
Must be a reason I do
Why do I
Seem unsatisfied
(I try to find the words to explain…)
*
Why I seem so down.”
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Earshot