Yesterday Was Earth Day?

In The Matrix, Agent Smith said that humans are viruses. He said that we are a plague. Perhaps he was right.

We are a species that uses, corrupts, pollutes, and destroys the very planet and environment that we depend on for survival. We consume resources and produce waste at a rate that nature cannot compensate for, all in the name of “progress” and “human expansion.” We’re a scar on the face of Mother Earth.

Or so the environmentalist whackos would have us all believe.

Yesterday was Earth Day, the highest holy day for all worshippers of our great blue ball, and a day that at one time was an almost orgasmic experience for environmentalists. There used to be marches, television specials, Earth-friendly lessons in school, and gatherings of people wanting to clean up our planet. But yesterday, Earth Day hardly made the headlines.

Isn’t it funny? We were once told that we were causing a hole in the ozone over Antarctica that was letting enough harmful rays of sunshine through that the ice caps were going to melt. The oceans were going to rise and we were going to have to adapt like those in Kevin Costner’s Waterworld.

Amazingly enough, the coastlines of the world haven’t changed much.

We were told that we (especially Americans) were producing so much garbage that we were going to become a nation of landfills. We were going to pollute our water and food supplies and end up poisoning ourselves.

Amazingly enough, we still have quite a bit of green left in the country. We still haven’t been forced to plant gardens amidst old tin cans and newspapers.

We were told that we were going to cause irreparable damage to the forests of this country, and the rainforests, because of all the trees that were being cut down. We were told that the lack of trees would diminish the ability of the planet to make oxygen and that we were going to suffocate.

Amazingly enough, the percentage of oxygen in the atmosphere is still pretty much the same as it’s been for ages. In fact, we actually have more trees in the United States now than we did when white people first arrived here.

In the Bible, people who made predictions that didn’t turn out to be true were labeled “false prophets.” Perhaps this is the reason that society has turned it’s back on Earth Day and really isn’t concerned with it anymore.

I’m trying very hard to think of a single apocalyptic prediction made by environmentalists that has actually come true, but can’t think of one. Maybe the environmentalist whackos have cried “Wolf!” a few too many times, and the public has grown a little weary of hearing and heeding their warnings, only to find out that they were full of crap to begin with.

Don’t think I don’t care about the planet though, because I do. In fact, I always try to help the planet out. You see, when garbage is put in landfills it takes decades and centuries to decompose, if it will at all. This is because garbage is packed and buried so tightly that it can’t be exposed to air and water and bacteria and all the things that help to break it down.

My solution? Litter.

The way I see it, if we spread the garbage out and thus expose it to the elements and little things that might like to have a nice paper bag or plastic bottle for lunch, the garbage will decompose faster than it would in a landfill.

That’s my little effort to help save the planet, and my little way to try and make every day an Earth Day.

So lets all go grab a sophisticated coffee drink, hug a tree, eat some soy, and hop on a rubber raft to try and stop tuna boats from catching dolphins instead. Or not.

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“Your world is an ashtray
We burn and coil like cigarettes
The more you cry
Your ashes turn to mud
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My world is unaffected
There is an exit here
I say “It is” and it’s true…
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There is a dream inside a dream
I’m wide awake the more I sleep
You’ll understand when I’m dead
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I went to God just to see
And I was looking at me
Saw heaven and hell were lies
When I’m God everyone dies…”
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Marilyn Manson