Too Much Fanfare

Well, the big “meeting” is over.

As much as I was not wanting to, I called my parent’s pastor after I got done at work and we met at Perkins. It was nice to see that he was feeling as…awkward as I was. I think it was kind of nice that “God” hardly even got into the conversation at all; maybe 10% of it if I exaggerate a bit.

Mostly he asked questions about what I do at work, so he got a thorough lesson on the daily activities of Morrell Transfer, and their star driver (being modest little me). I told him about my truck, my boss, what we haul, what kind of schedule and time pressure we face on a daily basis, and things like that (and I only told him those things because he asked).

The “God” part of our talk, which was his “word of encouragement” for me, was him telling me about a “vision” he had concerning me.

Back in my pre-I-want-to-be-a-Christian days, when I was the town’s most notable suicidal, metal loving junkie, my dad was a prayer meeting that the pastor was at too. Apparently the pastor had a “vision” of me.

Now Jen, I know you’ll probably be cheesing over this, but don’t get your hopes up, ok?

He said that he saw me behind a pulpit preaching. He said that it was so clear and vivid to him that afterwards it was like it was already done, and there was no doubt in his mind that what he saw would come to pass some day.

And then we went onto talking about other things, while trying to act as comfortable as we could be eating dinner at a table for two with someone who was pretty much a total stranger.

It seemed that he really has no clue who I’ve become. He still thinks that I am somewhat the radically bold Christian guy that I was (or seemed to be) for a few years of my life when I wanted so bad for God and everything to be real. Maybe my parent’s haven’t told him anything about me (which would be a first).

It’s nice to have at least a FEW people who don’t know tons of stuff about me.

Oh yeah, and he offered to “disciple me” in order to help that vision become a reality, but he said I didn’t have to give him an answer immediately. I could have, because I know I’m not going to do that. What’s the point of “discipling” an unbeliever? But I lacked the balls to burst his bubble when he was being so nice and buying me dinner and all.

I really do hate letting people down, even if I barely know them.

I have spent the last few minutes thinking about the “vision” and am asking a few questions to myself.

Could what he saw have already come to pass? Believe it or not, I actually HAVE been a preacher, even if only for a year or two. I’ve been to schools, churches, and even all the way over to England “spreading God’s truth.” So maybe what he saw has already happened.

Or maybe what he saw WILL happen, but he wasn’t listening to what I was preaching. Maybe I wasn’t preaching the gospel, maybe I was leading a cult or something. I think that would be a kind of cool thing to do.

Or perhaps what he “saw” was (weird…”was” is “saw” spelled backwards…) no different than the dream I had a month or so ago where I was married and had a little girl; a figment of imagination that will most likely never come to pass.

I don’t know, but somehow I’m going to turn him down on his offer. I just have to do it in the most delicate way possible because I really don’t need any more people trying to Christianize me, because I have enough already (and I’m not referring to anyone who may read this. Believe it or not, there are others that I know in “real” daily life that I get this from too).

I guess this was much ado about nothing. Oh well, I suppose that’s what the majority of life it, right?

“We sing the Death Song kids,

Cause we’ve got not future…”- Marilyn Manson