Bacteria

Last night I was chatting with a fellow diariest (is that a word?) and we were just talking about the normal, sometimes serious, sometimes stupid, sometimes common, and sometimes outrageous things that come up in online conversations (at least the ones I’m in). I don’t know how we got onto the topic, but we started asking each other “What if’s” about God. Now I was listening to Rammstein at the time and I believe she was listening to Madonna, so neither of us were influenced by any Joan Osbourne songs (you know, “What if God was one of us? Just a slob like on of us? Just a stranger on the bus…etc).

Somehow though the question popped in my head (and yeah, I know sometimes I go towards the grosser things in life) and I wondered out loud if God takes a dump.

She happens to be a bit faster on the keyboard, so just as another thought popped into my head, she was typing those words on my screen. It was something to the effect of “Of course he does, what do you think all this is?”

That was when revelation struck me. I wondered out loud again. “What if the earth is God’s crap and all we are is bacteria whose job is to break it down?”

Sure, that’s not the prettiest picture or thought around, but supposing there is a God, why wouldn’t he crap if we crap and are supposedly made in his image (that might give a new meaning to “holy crap”)?

As we go about our little daily lives I think all humans tend to think that we are at the top of the chain. We think that we are “intelligent” and that we’re special and that our lives mean something. But how many people actually take a look at how much else there is in the whole wide universe that is out there? And people look at bacteria as these little microscopic things that do their thing and are unimportant and disposable. Wouldn’t it be ironic if in the universal scheme of things we are no different?

If we really are just bacteria living on some ball of holy crap, then we’re actually worse off than the bacteria that we consider to be so far below us. Why? Because those bacteria do their job and break down and get rid of the crap they live on and in. Humans spend their time trying to conserve it and make it a nice, fancy place.

That was about as far as we got in that part of the discussion though. Maybe it seems a little far fetched (although what would bacteria think if someone showed them that they aren’t the center of the universe either?). I don’t know. It seems like no matter what, I gained a teensy bit of insight into something or other. Or maybe I’m trying so hard to find the forest that I’m going around planting trees to make my own.

I don’t know and I don’t care. This was one of the things I thought about and so I decided to type up a little spiel on it.

“I’m not the kind of person you think I am. I’m not the anti-christ or the iron man…”- Ozzy Osbourne