Wow, I Went To Church

Amazing, huh? I actually went to church tonight (I say “tonight” cause it’s 1:45 AM, so I still consider it the 24th).

I had to work today and I had some running around to do afterwards, but in less than a minute after getting home my parents both hit me up with, “We’re going to church, you ready to go?”

I started to try and pull the “I really did just get home…” thing. I really don’t know why they like having me go to church at all. It’s like they think I’m going to have some big experience with God or something.

Well it WAS quite the experience.

We didn’t go to my parent’s church tonight, we went to this church up the road (which is an Evangelical Free Church, if that matters).

This was one of those candlelight services where at the end everyone lights candles in the dark and thinks about the star that guided the wise men and all that. So as we got in there, we got our candles and the little paper ring that is supposed to keep the hot wax from dripping on your hands (and rarely works. I was raised Lutheran, so I know all about the candle thing).

Well, to sum it all up, the entire thing was hilarious (except for the sermon, which I slept through. But they had all the lights off and I had been working all day, what was I supposed to do?).

There were a bunch of times that I almost totally lost it and almost busted out laughing my butt off right in the middle of everything. Like when they were reading the “Christmas story” and they were reading about the prophecies about Jesus and everything. Honestly. Like when they read the prophecy from Isaiah or wherever about the “rod shooting forth from Jesse,” I was about to wrap my sweatshirt over my head to keep from laughing.

The responsive reading was hilarious too. They were reading all these prophecies and stuff, and everyone was SO serious, like it all made sense. But it totally looked like a scene from a Monty Python movie. “And in those days shall donkeys walk on two feet. Also shall the moon be twain in two and shall fall into the sea, which shall turn to milk; thus all the world shall enjoy milk and cookies.” And stuff like that. It’s really hard for me to believe I used to believe that stuff and think it made sense.

I also thought it was funny that the pastor was pretending to be Jesus for part of it (the adult version of him). I thought that was funny because his name is Bryan (which was name of Jesus’ “body double” in the Monty Python movie The Life Of Brian).

Don’t go thinking I’m gonna be frequenting the local congregations, cause I’m not. I guess I was just making the best of a situation that I didn’t really want to be in, and I’m glad I had a bit of fun with it all.

“You turn to me in all your worldly greed and pride, but will you turn to me when it’s your turn to die?”- Black Sabbath