“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch…”

Well, well, well…..here I am again.

I was thinking today about how, even though I’ve only typed an entry or two, that I feel a bit like Hard Harry from the movie Pump Up the Volume. Here I have access to thousands of people, to just talk and be myself and stuff, and have no clue if I’m talking to myself or if everyone is telling all their friends to watch for the next entry.

You know, I remember seeing ads for Pump Up the Volume when I was back in Jr. High or maybe 6th grade or so, but I never got to see it (I lived in a very conservative Christian protective bubble). The only reason I even bought it at all is cause it was on the “super bargain” rack at Wal-Mart and I figured “What the heck? If it’s cool, then it’s cool. If not, then me and Nate (my 17 year old brother) can sit around and do a Mystery Science Theater 3000 to it.”

After seeing it though, I really dig it (even though parts of it do an extremely good job at dating it back to a time when fashion guru’s today choke on tofu when remembering them). In fact, I’ve decided that it’s one of my three favorite movies in it’s category.

Yes, that’s right. I’m so indecisive and my opinions change so frequently that I’ve actually created categories so that I can have favorite movies in each category. And Pump Up the Volume falls into the “Coolest Line of Thinking” category. The other two of the top three are Fight Club and Reality Bites.

Some may say that these movies have very little to do with each other, but if you take a look at the characters of Brad Pitt, Ethan Hawk, and Christian Slater (starring in Fight Club, Reality Bites, and Pump Up the Volume, respectively), they are all in the same basic mindset. I find those characters cool because I can identify more with them than I can with most “normal” people. So yes, I do recommend those movies to anyone and everyone. In fact, if I ever start some sort of cult or cultural resistance group, those movies will be required viewing for all members.

Oh yeah, by the way, only 14 more days left till Christmas!!!
Yeah right, me? Get excited about Christmas? No…not any time soon.
I’ve talked with friends about this off and on for the past few weeks, but I’ve honestly been pondering Christmas too. I honestly can’t find any reason for people to give each other presents for Christmas.

First of all, Jesus wasn’t even born in December. Ask any qualified expert who has done research, gone back and looked at historical data, astronomical charts, archeological discoveries, etc. They all agree that Jesus wasn’t born in December (at least all the one’s I’ve come across). In fact, it was the church that decided to celebrate Christmas in December to “counter” a pagan holiday (just as they tried to do in putting All Saints Day the day after Halloween). Apparently the pagans get all the good holidays. But anywhose…

Second, (and I suppose finally, since I’m starting to get tired of typing) how many people go buy gifts for the whole family on Aunt Mabel’s birthday? Or how many of you have other people giving each other gifts in honor of YOUR birthday? I can’t think of anyone who does that stuff. So why should we give each other gifts in honor of the birth of Jesus (even though we can’t get his birthday right…)?

I don’t know why, but ever since I was a kid I’ve always had a problem with just going with the flow and doing things because “that’s how they’re done.” So I can’t buy the argument of people who say “Why do you have to be so negative and analyzing? Can’t you just enjoy the holiday?”

No, I can’t.

Other people try to tell me I need to just see the real meaning behind Christmas, but I really don’t know if I can. Besides, who actually does that anymore anyways? Christmas is just a list of things to get done that people run around like crazy trying to accomplish, so that when they’re done they can feel good enough to relax and “celebrate” or whatever it is they do.

So no, I really don’t see why people give each other gifts for Christmas. Unless you are a Wise Man and you have a pal named Jesus, I can’t see how giving gifts has anything to do with a savior of the world being born.

But you know, since we (speaking of America, because I’m an American) do in fact live in a secular society, maybe we should just change the name and call it what it is. At least that way we can be honest with ourselves. We can call it “Winter Day To Exchange Gifts.” Or something like that. At least that way we don’t have to lie to ourselves and pretend to be celebrating the birth of someone whose name can’t be spoken of in government, or in schools, or in courts. Besides, you know some day some group is gonna sue someone or something over calling Christmas “Christmas,” so why not beat them to the punch?

For this year though I am going to continue to play along with everyone else just so it’s not too much of a shock to everyone, although I do wish I could just up and remain Christmasly celibate. Oh well, that’s what I get for thinking about it too late.

“What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. You can have it all…my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt…” NIN