THE GREAT BULL ELK

I had the pleasure of drinking my morning cup of coffee in the wonderful presence of 21 female elk and one bull elk. Absolutely amazing fourlegged creatures. Sitting quietly in the truck, sipping my coffee, my eyes fixed and mesmerized by their greatness. “What an experience” I wisphered to my husband, not wanting to disturb the herd, knowing that one peep out of me would cause them to run.

In this solitude amongst the elk, I felt it. I felt his spirit

Tonight, I write about him, It helps me go through the grieving process. I miss him.

It was unexpected.

His room is now empty–he is gone

He was a great man; I would spend my break time and hide out in his room with him looking at his photo albums from years gone by. Pointing to an old faded picture of him on a horse, “You are a handsome cowboy”, I said. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Your wife told me you would ride your horse up high into the mountains and where gone for days”. He shook his head in agreement and displayed a crooked smile. There was a picture of him and his hunting buddies boastfully displaying their bounty of elk. “Icky”. I told him. “Why did you have to hang all 9 of them upside down? There were also many pictures of him proudly standing next to his tug boat and truck. There where many pictures of him with his wife and children. I could see he was quite the family man. What a great dad and husband I thought. It was clear to me that he lived his life to the fullest.

He wasn’t able to explain each picture are why he hung up the elk because he had had a stroke a year ago that affected his speech. I knew he understood me though he just couldn’t get the words out. Poor man not only does he have Multi infarct dementia he also has Prostate cancer

Later in the week,

the caregivers came to me in a panic and told me that he was snorting and he was slumped over in his wheelchair. I quickly assessed and noted that he was having signs and symptoms of a TIA. I held his hand and rubbed his back telling him it was going to be ok. A couple of minutes later he had fully recovered from this episode and was at his baseline level of functioning. I quickly assessed his mental status and I asked him what his name was, he was able to tell me, I then grabbed a picture of Jesus he had next to his bed and along side his beautiful elk lamp. Certainly, he would get this right too. “Who is this”, I said. He pointed at the picture and said “JESUS”!!–with– clear Perfect pronunciation I must say. He then started to speak in a beautiful heavenly language. I eventually brought him to the dining room for lunch and he was still speaking in tongues. I notified his doctor and his wife of 68 years. She thanked me for taking such good care of her husband. I in returned thanked her for giving me the opportunity to be his nurse. I also reminded her that she helps me to take such good care of her husband by allowing me to dote over him like she has lovely done for the last 68 years.

The next day

Getting out of my car in the parking lot, and seeing the Harbor Medics and a fire truck, made me wonder who is in such dire need. I was greeted by the young medics. They did everything they could to revive him but had to call off the code. I was surpised that they did CPR because the day before his living will and polst form clearly stated he was a no code. My co nurse reported that the previous evening his wife changed the POLST form to a full code. She wasn’t ready to let him go just yet.

His wish was granted, I thought. He is now with Jesus. I thought back how his wife told me he was stubborn and refused to use a cane, he didn’t want anyone to fuss over him.

Looks like he is where he wants to be now

My angels, aka: caregivers, and I, with gentle care uncovered the blanket he was under, lifted him back onto his bed and removed all EKG leads and mouth tubing. It’s all about dignity when it comes to post-mortem care. We used our kid gloves to meticulously clean and groom him then carefully covered him with our best linen.

Now, all that’s left is the shell of his body.

His sprit has soared to a higher and better place.

I would like to think he is running with the elk.

In my eyes and spirit—–HE IS THE LONE BULL ELK