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WEDDING NOTES 3
The younger generation—they are so cute! I spent my time with them last weekend. They sure helped me forget about my problems with my uncle.
I did some thinking and praying.
WOW! Thank you and you and you too for all the wonderful notes of encouragement. It feels so good to know I have so many readers with such wonderful, well thought out advice.
I came home from work early yesterday and plopped down on the couch to watch DR PHIL. I don’t usually watch this show but let me tell you it was the right show for me to watch. There was a segment about a Good Catholic family whose father remarried and in order to do this he had to annul his first marriage of 31 years. You can guess his children were on the show in tears proclaiming they are now bastards. It was the hurt in their eyes that really hit me hard. BB was married for 13 years- many of those years weren’t good but he was blessed to conceive 3 beautiful children.
I could never ever!! do this Annulment!!! BB isn’t a church going person and thinks this whole annulment thing is outrageous. We have a good relationship with his X wife and the children and would like to keep the peace.
I was confirmed Catholic, went to Catholic school from 1st to 8th grade. My uncle paid for all my education. So, you can see were this Catholic guilt creeps into my spirit. To think I was hoping my uncle would die before the wedding is just so wrong–he is 80 years old.
My native America ancestors lived in long houses in Cowlitz country here in the Northwest. Our land was taken away from us, we were giving blankets full of small pox, Father Blanchet and other Catholic missionaries came to help my tribe. We were desperate people. So, this is my Catholic Heritage. As an adult, I have now decided to follow my spirit -the spirit of my ancestors.
I will get married in my native way–! My spirit is calling me.
Now I’m wondering how on earth I’m going to explain all of this to my uncle??
Yikes. I admire your loyalty to your uncle. I would begin by telling how much you appreciate him and love him and value his opinions. BUT….you also value the children and your new husband has and can’t do anything to hurt them. Good luck.
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i just read your last entry and this entry. i am so sorry your uncle sees things the way he does. try to remember you are now an adult, and have every right to see things differently from him. hopefully, he will be able to respect your feelings. he may not agree, but he can still be respectful. if he isn’t, then it is his loss. follow you heart and make whatever decision you feel is best.
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Good for you!
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I agree that causing more pain is not worth it. I trust your instincts that you will be able to handle it properly with him. **hugs**
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i agree…follow your heart. hugs,
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I think you are going in the right direction for your heart! It is a tough one, but it is YOUR union…….. You’ve thought it through…….. Good for you….. You Go Girl!!!
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I am Catholic, and I agree with you about the annulment issue esp. where children are involved. I’m proud of you for sticking to your plans. Uncle will not stop loving you b/c of this. He may not be swayed in his beliefs but you have to do what is right for you.
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good for you.
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Tell the truth. Be kind. Know that he may not understand, but that you have the right to live your life according to your beliefs. It’s okay to disagree. Be sensitive, but forget guilt. This is your wedding. You have the right to plan it your way.
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To go with your heart is the smartest decision. Good girl! Explain to him that you can’t possibly start a new family by hurting them (especially the kids)
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🙂
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I too am a Catholic. The pilot was Lutheran and insisted I change. Thanks to a marvelous young priest who made the church ‘make sense’ I did raise our kids catholic – but everytime Dennis spoke of changing religions – I insisted he stay Lutheran. I wanted the kids to know the ‘belief’ is more important than the ‘way’ the belief is expressed. You’re doing the same.
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cute kids:) May your day be filled with much joy:)take care
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I’m Catholic, too, albeit a very lapsed one. There’s a whole lot of pointless guilt wrapped up in Catholicism, and I think it’s good that you’ve decided to get married your way. More of us should do that.
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