BITTERSWEET

Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter. ~Carol Bishop Hipps

Tapping fingers on my keyboard, just don’t know what to write, I have lost my muse wondering if she will ever come back. I’m so dog gone tired lately my life is really draining the life out of me. BB’s 17 year old son has moved back in with us again. I think this is the 3rd time he has moved back in. He can’t seem to make up his mind what parent he wants to hunker down with for the winter. He plans on getting his own apartment once he turns 18–and 18 couldn’t come any sooner for me. He really drains the blood right out of me. I miss walking around in my lounging wear; bra and panties, no more nude hot tubbing at dusk, I miss having the luxury of slathering my Victoria Secret body lotions all over me. It is apparent to me with evidence that he is using my lotions for –well for other things.

He doesn’t have his driving license yet, His permit was taken away in June because he took is mother’s Tahoe for a joy ride at midnight. Mystic Bay police picked him up. Now unfortunately for me it is October and he will be allowed to take his written test again–he failed it the first time around. He told me that “everyone fails the written test the first time”. I refuse to be the adult passenger with him. He goes to fast, turns corners too quickly, doesn’t put his hands in the proper position on the steering wheel, fumbling with the radio stations. He really should be banned from all roadways. BB and I are secretly hoping he will fail is test again. I don’t know what world he lives in but once he turns 18 and takes the bull by the horns he will learn that life is not like playing an X box game. You have to work for the good things in life, be responsible, dependable and honest. He wants to have the same things his dad has accomplished but he wants them NOW–this is his mentality.

He is a good looking “man cub” but It fathoms my mind why he would shave his head completely bald Bald BALD He is only 17 and had a beautiful thick hair. Why he did this, I asked. He said he couldn’t afford a hair cut. My God, his Dad pays $700 a month just for him because of the high maintenance of being a teenager. We would have been more than happy to pay for his hair cut.

Teenagers…I just don’t get them.

Work! It’s wiping me out. I end up crawling home and collapsing onto the couch. I’m working my fingers to the bloody bones. I don’t have time to take my 2 15 minute breaks and having the luxury of a 30 minute lunch. I have worked at Mystic Bay Care Center for almost three years and I can honestly say I have only ate 3 lunches at work. Just don’t have the time. I’m the queen of multi tasking. Last week I had to deal with two emergencies at once I was called to two different wings for a STAT and I had 911 on the phone for a third issue. I really amaze myself how I can handle any situation. I’m also very detailed focused. It’s hard to keep nurses here because they have to work hard. Most can’t move as fast as me and are too slow. I have 49 patients. Two deaths last week back to back–with family dynamics. Another patient was admitted for hospice today. He is in the active stage of dying. His family is so wanting it to end. It is so hard to watch a loved one dying from Alzheimers Disease. It really is the loooooog good bye. This family welcomes his death. As I was administering his medication orally via a syringe he told me thank you. What a sweet heart! He was once a Banker and know has succumbed to this dreaded disease.

I’m looking forward to this weekend, I wanted to stay here RUN OF THE RIVER but at $245 a night with a three day minimum–adds up to some serious bucks so sad, though it does help a little knowing the B N B is booked to capacity so we wouldn’t be able to stay there anyway. It is v beautiful this time of year in Leavenworth with the vibrant colors of the fall foliage..and Octoberfest which includes a heaping of German dancing, food and beer. I should book for next year –maybe for our Honeymoon. Yes! I think this is a good idea.

Maybe we could drive up for the day?

Now back to my regular scheduled viewing of my 4 disc first season of the WALTONS!!!! Net Flix of course…John boy has fallen in love *wink*