On the lighter side of things

GREAT TRUTHS FROM CHILDREN

* No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

* When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

* If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

* Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

* You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

* Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

* School lunches stick to the wall.

* You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

* Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

* The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.

* It’s hard to unlearn a bad word.

* Keep asking why until you understand.

* It’s easier to see the mistakes on someone else’s paper.

* A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.

* It’s only fun to play school when you’re the teacher.

* Sometimes the best one in the play has no lines.

* Twelve is a lot older than eight.

* Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.

* Some nights it’s not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.

* Don’t expect your friends to be as excited about your 100″ as you are.

* Don’t say “Last One’s a Rotten Egg” unless you’re absolutely sure there’s a slow kid behind you.

* Crawling still gets you there.

* If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

* Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.

* You can’t start over just because you’re losing the game.

* When you dress up like a princess, you act like one.

* If a tree had apples last year, it probably won’t have pears this year.

* One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.

* You can’t be everyone’s best friend.

* A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.

* All libraries smell the same.

* Say grace.

* If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.

* Sometimes you have to take the test before you’ve finished studying.

* Silence can be an answer.

* If you throw a ball at someone, they’ll probably throw it back.

* Don’t nod on the phone, they can’t see you.

* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

– Author Unknown