Happy birthday Daddy

Happy birthday daddy

I feel like I should go ran out and buy him a birthday card. I know how much he enjoyed getting a card from all six of his daughters.

There is a guilty pain so deep in my heart about the times that my card did not make it in time. I procrastinated. So my daddy had five cards.

My mother would call and let me know that she was disappointed. My daddy was disappointed.

I would call and apologize. He didn’t seem to mind about the missing card. He was always so happy to talk with me.

I would tell him about my plans to fly out to Vegas for a visit

Procrastination

Maybe next month daddy, I will try and get some time off from work.

Got to juggle my life around to visit with you

There was always some lame excuse.

I was to caught up in the downward spiral of my life to think about anyone else except for myself.

I did make it to see my daddy but it was on his death bed.

At this point, my life stopped spinning and my thoughts were with my daddy.

Better late than never

I was the only daughter that actually had the chance to say goodbye to him. We had a nice talk about what we would do once he recuperated from his quadruple Bi pass. We made plans to hike up to Star Mountain and search for the old Indian trail that leads up to the Indian race track. He had a glimmer in his eyes. I told him that I loved him.

My father died that night Feb 2001. He coded in his room. The doctor said that she ran all the stop lights to make it to the hospital, but it was too late. They did manage to get a heart beat but his brain was dead.

He chose to go to Star Mountain without me.

My family is still grieving.

We can’t talk about it without crying.

So we don’t talk about it.

We were all so very close to our daddy. He loved having six daughters. He was so proud.

I miss you daddy

I was going through all my cards, obituary, pictures, sermon of the funeral, Catholic saint cards, everything that I have saved in a box. These items have been untouched. I haven’t been able to look at this stuff without losing it. Today I forced myself to look in the box. I came across this card that was given to me by my co-workers. It is so beautiful. I feel some peace today I feel his presence today.

NATIVE AMERICAN PRAYER

I GIVE YOU THIS ONE THOUGHT TO KEEP

I AM WITH YOU STILL–I DO NOT SLEEP,

I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW,

I AM THE DIAMOND GLINTS ON SNOW,

I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN,

I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.

WHEN YOU AWAKEN IN THE MORNING’S HUSH,

AM THE SWIFT, UPLIFTING RUSH

OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLED FLIGHT

I AM THE SOFT STARS THAT SHINE AT NIGHT

DO NOT THINK OF ME AS GONE–I AM WITH YOU STILL–IN EACH NEW DAWN.

When I am ready, I will take my part of his ashes up to Star Mountain and spread them into the thousand winds that blow.