EPIPHANY

EPIPHANY…

I’m home alone, no emimen music blaring in the background, no BB wanting me to get off the computer, no dogs licking my feet. This is so very nice. I really miss having my own apartment on the banks of Lake Steilacoom. I would come home and do whatever I wanted to do. If I wanted to watch back to back episodes of Judge Judy, I could do it, If I wanted to take a three hour bath drinking Henries and listening to Tom Lykes, no problem. I could dance around the house naked while listening to Shoot to Thrill, no problemo, I could go to the dock and hang out and flirt with the cute stockbroker guy that owned the mansion next door and not to forget about his $100,000 Ski Nautique. I miss our adventuresome nights of taking the boat out and skinny dipping. The moon and the stars illuminating our bodies while we floated on our backs. such joy and freedom This is a part of my life that is so very hard to let go. There is something so awesome about being single and not having to answer to anyone but yourself.

I guess this kind of bliss has to end sometime, people frown upon a 35 year old single career women with no hubby or children. I know that my mother was disappointed that I hadn’t settled down to marry and have children. Now, All I can say is that I’m with BB and this has been a very difficult three years for the both of us. Slowly, we are meshing together to become one and slowly I’m learning to think about someone else instead of just me. Instead of saying what I’m I going to do today, I have to say what are we going to do. This is HARD.

I went out with the girls from work last Friday. Lucky for me this club wasn’t hosting a Wet T shirt Contest. It felt almost like being single again. It has been awhile since I have been to a dance club. We went to this place in Tacoma called Tabo. I liked the name of this place it sounded rather exciting and a tad bit naughty. I had to work the next day and get up at 5am so I didn’t plan on staying out to late. Rule #1 don’t let someone else drive you there. I decided to dress down. Rule #2 You can’t dress too sexy if you have a boyfriend. I wore jeans and a tight purple tank top with black strappy sandals. No short skirt with boots up to my knees. Right away I realized that this club was in my opinion a Leisben Club. I sat at the bar stool facing the dance area and watched with astonishment drunk girls fondling all over each other while doing that freakie dance stuff. There were a few guys that I did eventually dance with but they were complete losers. Rule #3: To cast off drunk GI’s that are young young and too young, tell them that you are a man dressed as a women. These poor guys were so drunk they actually believed me. I found my bed at 2:30am and set my alarm for 5:00am. What was I thinking about going out knowing that I had to work the next day. Rule #4: What happens at Tabo stays at Tabo.

I had an Epiphany yesterday!!! I decided to venture out to the Tacoma Mall and do so clothes shopping. I had become very tired of my clothes and wanted to spruce up my wardrobe. I have been going to the Cube at the Bon and the Brass Plum at Nordstroms for years and years. I never realized that these departments are what you would call “Junior departments.” I never realized there was a “Misses department.” No wonder I had such a hard time finding clothes that fit me. I’m a 39 year old– almost the big 4-0 shopping in the teenager department. I was heading to Nordies when I came across this store called the Limited. Beautiful clothes! This very friendly sales lady approached me.

Lets stop here:

I am very shy when it comes to sales people who try and help me with my clothing selections. I have this very unhealthy view of my body. I don’t need someone assessing my body and having me try on clothes so they can see how I look. I have a problem when I look into the mirror I wish I was fatter kind of a thing. Even though I have a body that women would kill to have.

Anyway, I let this lady help me pick out clothes for me. I learned my true size in pants are a size 0

I was flabbergasted to find this out because I have always been a size 3 or 5 in the Junior department. I was embarresed about being this size but the sales lady told me that zero is the most popular size and they practically fly off the shelves. The other popular sizes are a size 8 and a size 14. The sales lady went on to say that she has a list of cliental who wear size 0 and she calls them when the store has a new shipment.

My name has been added to the list

I ended up buying 3 pairs of dress slacks—They actually fit me like a glove. No camel toe, no butt bagginess– Absolute perfection This is my EPIPHANY!! I’m still giddy about all of this.!!

I’m finally done with “my study” Here are my before and after pictures.

BEFORE…