About Yesterday

Well, Sharon and I are on talking terms again. Things are worked out and after we talked last night, I realized that my last entry was very one sided and lacking information.

It started yesterday when I was driving home from work. I don’t really know what triggered it but I started getting really horny. Not wanting sex horny but just to take care of things myself. That’s what I was thinking about when I walked in the door.

I went through the normal get home stuff without really thinking about it. The baby was sleeping on Sharon and I asked how her day was. “Horrible” was her answer. She had a really hard day with Sage and I brushed it off and excused myself to use the bathroom. I went from the bathroom into the bedroom and got online. At first I was just going to get online and check email and OD and then head back into the living room but instead I found myself on a story site that I hadn’t been on in quite awhile.

I was just about done doing what I was doing when Sharon walked in. I swear, it was like high school flashed back on me. I hunched over real quick and tried to pretend like nothing was happening while trying quickly to close down AOL. Sharon, once she figured out what was going on, walked out into the living room without really saying anything.

I zipped up and went after her to apologize and explain myself but she didn’t want to talk to me right then. She didn’t want to even see me. So I sat back down in front of the computer and just clicked on icons while waiting for her to cool down.

It wasn’t long after that when she left and I became really worried. Sharon was gone for about an hour and I sat with Sage and worried and worried. I kept thinking that this was something that I did really wrong but didn’t know why. At the time, I didn’t think that I had done anything wrong.

When Sharon came home, she had some groceries with her. She cooked us dinner and we ate in silence. I tried to make conversation once in ahile and she didn’t respond much. After dinner Sharon went into the bedroom and I was in the living room with Sage. It wasn’t until later that night that we really talked. While she was cooking dinner, Sharon told me why she was upset that I was doing what I was doing but we didn’t sit down and talk until later.

What it boils down to is this. Sharon told me that she had a bad day, a very bad day. I blew it off. Then when she walked in, I tried to hide it. Those are the two main points that really stick out.

I can see why she was mad but I still think she overreacted. And I know that she’ll read this and probably be mad at me for thinking that but it’s how I feel and I have to be honest.

I really didn’t mean to set aside her bad day. It just never really sank in to me at the time that she had because my mind was elsewhere. If I hadn’t been thinking about masturbating then I would’ve given her a kiss, asked her what went wrong, offered to get her a drink. Instead I said, “I’m sorry hon” and went to jack off.

Sharon and I tell each other about everything too. We don’t keep things from each other. But now she thinks that if she hadn’t caught me, I would have just done it and hid it and never told her. That’s really not true. I was planning on telling her that night and seeing if it got us anywhere in bed. I wrote yesterday that our sex life was kind of slow. That’s not all Sharon’s fault. As she reminded me, I don’t tend to make the first move. I usually wait for Sharon to let me know that she wants sex because I don’t want to make the first move and then have her feel obligated to have sex if she doesn’t want it.

What it boils down to is that I picked a bad time for getting off. Next time I just have to wait until Sharon’s in a better mood and let her know before hand what I’m going to do. That way she can watch or participate if she wants to.