More Random Stuff

I can’t see to put my thoughts together for a decent, cohesive entry so I will just throw down some random thoughts for now:

They are calling for a winter storm warning in my neck of the woods today. 1-3 inches of snow today, 4-6 tonight and another 1-2 tomorrow. Whatever – my ass. I swear, these weather people LIVE for the days when they can try and scare everyone into thinking the storm of the century is coming. I can’t count how many times they predicted snow up to our asses last year and we barely got an inch or two. I do, however, remember schools being closed more last year than ever before – but I honestly think it has nothing to do with the weather being worse but our school administrators getting soft. Hell – 2 feet of snow and we would have still had to go back in my day. Damn – how old am I?

Brian and I went to the 1st birthday party for Lynne’s son on Sunday. I know – we weren’t going to go to birthday parties anymore, right? Not necessarily – my beef was with the big, circus, over the time, 6 hour parties they kept trying to have. For some reason, after we told them we would no longer be attending, some light bulb went off in their heads and the past two birthdays have been a lot lower key.

This was at their house, just family and a few close friends (and their kids, unfortunately), cake and ice cream and presents, only 2 hours long and that’s it. No ponies or magic shows or crazy stuff like that – though they STILL insist on this ridiculous tradition of getting balloons for everyone and taking them outside and letting them go into the air. Is it pretty? Sure – for about a millisecond and that joy is severely hampered thinking of all of the animals that will be killed eating the balloons after they fall and pop, the pollution it creates, etc. Brian and I just stayed inside and watched while the rest of the party goers went outside.

Other than that, I had a nice time – I got to spend a lot of time with her son, the birthday boy and her 2 and a half year old daughter – I hadn’t seen them since August and really missed them. Her son is walking already and got a rocking house for a gift and the look on his face when he saw it – was priceless. Brian, on the other hand, was pretty much a bump on a log and just stood in a corner by himself for 2 hours. I don’t know what his deal was. He said he wanted to go to see everyone but then just kept to himself and didn’t talk to many people. Oh well!

I am having a big dilemma with my aunt and cousin right now and it makes me incredibly sad . . .and pissed off. My stupid ass cousin, the one that just got married in May? Yeah, her and her husband are already trying to get pregnant. Let me count the ways I have an issue with this:

1) They are only 24 and been married 6 months– what’s the rush?

2) Neither of them have a stable job, both are temps, working for the same company in a position that has nothing to do with their majors.

3) My cousin just went back to grad school and has another 1.5 years before she will be done with school. Why go back if you were just going to get knocked up and quit?

4) They don’t have a decent place to live – they are in an apartment in Indy right now and hate it down there. They talk about moving back up here but to where? My aunt’s basement? Like that is a great place to raise a kid?

5) They don’t have 2 cents to rub together for a down payment on a house, to replace both of their cars which are breaking down or to take care of a CHILD! My aunt is going to get stuck helping them with everything, like she is already doing with my OTHER cousin who is divorced and his son.

6) On top of everything else, my cousin’s husband wants to join the National Guard – beginning in January. So, they are trying right now – she could get pregnant anyday and he will be leaving for boot camp and MP training in January and won’t be back for FIVE MONTHS. She is going to work full time, go to school, be pregnant and oh yeah, take care of a baby by herself once he gets done with his training and get shipped to Iraq or some other such horrible place.

How am I supposed to deal with this? We are going to get together with my aunt’s family over Thanksgiving and they are going to be all happy, gushy about them trying or her possibly being pregnant already – I just can’t fake being happy for them when I think they are fucking idiots. It’s like the same shit that happened with Lynne when I found out she was pregnant again – WHY? Why do that to yourself? Why make things so freaking harder than they need to be? And who is going to get stuck picking up the pieces once my cousin’s marriage falls apart, they are in financial ruin and living on the street? My aunt . . .and I am sorry, I won’t feel one bit sorry for them. Maybe that makes me a horrible person but come on! Make smart choices and maybe shit wouldn’t just blow up in your face. Nothing they are doing even makes any sense!

And what does my aunt say about all this? Well – if it’s God’s will that she gets pregnant, then it is just meant to be. I am so sick of hearing that from so-called Christians – like being a Christian means that all of the responsibility for your life just goes right out the window and you just get to coast along, letting God make the decisions for you? Sorry – but I don’t really think that is the way it works. You need to be smart, you need to take care of yourself, you need to work hard and maybe, just maybe, you sometimes have to wait and be patient for the things you really want and not necessarily try and get them all right NOW.

Sorry – I am done – but I know the holidays are going to be very uncomfortable for me now and I am sad because my aunt and I have been so close the past couple of years, since my parents have moved to Florida and I know she is going to eventually be PISSED that I am not over the moon, excited and supportive of this. I don’t plan on saying a word about it – if they talk about it, I will just listen and not say anything unless asked. And even t hen, I probably will just keep my opinion to myself. I try so hard not to let it piss me off . . .but it is all just so stupid.

OK – I am really done now. I gotta get back to work!