Who IS This Person?

I am still sick. I thought I was feeling better yesterday – in the afternoon, evening and even this morning, I started to feel normal. I am eating so at least my stomach is better but after lunch with Carol today, I got back to the office and felt. . .tired. And achy. And TIRED. And my throat is feeling a little scratchy now.

I am not a sick person! I once went almost 3 years without so much as the sniffles and now, let’s take a look at the past 8 months:

October 2007 – had my outpatient exploratory surgery and was sickened with an unknown virus for 2 weeks afterwards. Fevers, aches and EXTREME overwhelming fatigue that had me missing 2-3 days of work.

February 2008 – I get the flu for the first time in my life. Brian had to take me to the emergency clinic on a Saturday and I missed about 3-4 days of work.

July 2008 – Now this. I got sick on Sunday, couldn’t eat anything until just yesterday around lunchtime. I missed work on Monday and half a day on Tuesday. Here it is – almost 5 days later and I still feel like shit, down again with some unknown virus.

If I call the doctor, they would just tell me the same thing everyone else has – there is nothing you can do, just rest and get lots of fluids. OK – so here I am, laying on the couch for the 4th night in a row, drinking my Gatorade and orange juice and watching crummy TV. I have a million things I should be doing – the party is on Saturday so the house could certainly use some cleaning. Working out, errands – the list goes on and on.

I take care of myself, I take a multi-vitamin every day, I work out regularly, eat well, get lots of sleep – at 34, I am in the best shape of my life. So, why, at the same time, I am coming down with these mystery viruses????

It is so frustrating – I am so active and then living with Brian and witnessing all he does every night, I couldn’t feel more lazy and guilty just laying here and willing my body to feel better. And to top it all off, I started my new job this week – what a great way to start off my position. Barely able to pay attention, so tired I want to fall asleep on my desk – hardly the perky, outgoing personality they were hoping for.

*sigh* I know, cry me a river, right? But, the closet hypochondriac in me keeps wondering if it isn’t something more I should be worried about. Everytime you Google things like this, you come up with all kinds of horrible and incredibly incorrect ideas – West Nile Virus, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, cancer. Yes – cancer. In fact, at Lynne’s parent’s 4th of July party, we learned that one of their long time childhood friends found out he has cancer. 31 years old and had just been feeling crummy for a number of months and after test after test after test – cancer. He is going through chemo right now.

I know I don’t have cancer, OK – but no one really knows when bad thing are going to strike you. Right now, a minor inconvenience and later. . . you are hooked up to an IV full of poison.

Can you tell I am bored out of my mind???? Sorry, I am rambling . . .just keep sending happy, healthy thoughts my way. I want to get back to normal – after the shitty weekend we had last weekend, I was looking forward to doing some things I wanted to do. Looking forward to kicking ass and taking name at the new job I have been waiting so long for. And having hot, freaky, monkey sex with my husband. Yes- damn it! You know we have only had sex once in the past two weeks? And I just started my period today so we have another, long week to wait? *double sigh*