How Do I Do It?

How am I able to keep myself motivated in my current job like I do? How am I able to give a shit about my chargeable hours still? How am I able to care about my co-workers enough, even though my bosses can bite me, to keep working as hard and as fast as I do?

I have no idea honestly and on a Friday before a holiday weekend, it is a God damn miracle, if I ever saw one. I am so ready to be done for well over a week but I just keep telling myself, if I can keep myself manic busy, the day will fly by. And it has. Here it is, 2:30 and I only have about 1.5 more hours to go. The only other manager here today and I have already discussed it and we are going to have mercy and try and shoo everyone out of here around 4pm. All of the highers up are away so the mice will play. And everyone deserves it so much – the projects we have been working on are just life-sucking with amazingly tight deadlines and everyone has kept their spirits up despite. Damn – that is the one thing I will definitely miss about this department – the people.

On another note, no big shocker here but my brother will NOT be coming to visit and for the wedding after all. It is always something with him, you know? Some emergency or tragedy comes up and affects his life in a way that will never happen to you or me because we wouldn’t put ourselves in the same situations my brother chooses to. It has taken me YEARS to get used to this, to expect it but I think I finally do.

My mom called me yesterday afternoon and said she had some very bad news to tell me, something that was really going to upset me and I knew it was either A) he was bringing the mega beast with him or B) he wasn’t coming. It was (B).

He wrote me an E-mail, which I got this morning, explaining exactly why he wasn’t coming. My brother has 3 . . .count them . . .THREE house payments and is able to manage all 3 at one time because he rents out his condo (house #1), has 75% rented out his big house (house #2) and then lives in the tiny little 500 square foot house on the beach he just bought (house #3). Well, his renters in house #1, after living there for over 2 years, just gave them 30 day notice and will be moving out June 15th. It is a couple, each of them a good 100-200 pounds overweight each and on top of that, very LAZY people who have just trashed out his condo. He has to replace pretty much everything except the major appliances — carpet, paint, bathroom fixtures, toilets, closet doors, maybe some countertops . . .it is going to be a major time time wise and money wise.

Then, believe it or not, just this week – there was a MURDER in the house right across the street from house #2, even though he lives in a decent neighborhood. Older homes but big houses, big yards and an aging population of homeowners. The poor old woman murdered was 71 years old and appears to have known her murderer as there are no signs of forced entry into her home. Regardless of the circumstances, his current renters in THIS house are younger girls, freaked and are considering moving out now. If that happens, my brother is going to be in a world of hurt.

So he is skipping a vacation and a trip. I can understand why but DAMN! Why does this man have to make his life so freaking complicated? If it makes him happy – FINE, so be it but it certainly is no life I would want.

But, other than that little hiccup, all appears to be going well. Yes, I am putting off a phone call to Lynne – I haven’t heard from her yet this week to find out if she is officially knocked up and I have a feeling the silence from the other end is indicating she is. I will call her today for sure to find out.

My mom gets here tomorrow and the festivities begin! I have 10 days off from work and I am going to do my best to relax on every, single, damn one of ’em, even the wedding day. I would like to get online and get some tips on a bridemaids wedding day emergency kit to gather for the wedding day to play mother hen to all the rest of the bridesmaid chicks. They are all in their early 20s and not that any of them couldn’t have their shit together but let’s face it, how many of us in our early 20s did? I got married at 22 and I just remember what a closterfuck the day was – things forgotten, things that went wrong, not having enough help with the details and I want to do what I can to make it go smoothly. Emphasizing the “what I can” part. I can’t do everything, nor am I going to try but being a little older and wiser, I think I might be able to think of a few more things that might go wrong and be ready for them.

I promise I will post pics from the week – hopefully one this weekend of my spray tan and then more next week after the wedding. Man, I can’t wait to strap myself into that iridescent lavender baby and just WOW everyone! Yeah right! I have done all I can do in terms of working out so this body is just as good as it gets. I have kept myself down to 110 pounds and while I wish the body fat were lower, I can definitely tell I have more definition in my arms and shoulders. Are they stick skinny? Nope but as good as mine can get and not half bad, if I do say so myself.

Brian is going to look so handsome in his new suit – I might be looking forward to dancing with my dashing hubby at the reception more than anything else.

I hope everyone has a fabulous Memorial Day weekend!