Crazy crazy life

I just want to lie down and scream….STOP the Merry-Go-Round, I want to get OFF!!!

It seems that no  matter what I do, try to do, or even think of doing, someone has a comment to make and it’s usually a negative one. With everything going on with Michael, I am trying desperately to keep my emotions in check. I am trying to sit back and think things through instead of just reacting, problem is, people (hubby) thinks I should be flying off the handle like he is. Case in point….on Sat. Michael had to work and got off at 11:00. I was going to pick him up, he called at 10:50 to tell me that he had a ride home and that he was going to go out for litlel bit after work with a friend…the girl who was driving him home. I told him to be home at midnight. At 12:30, I called him very mad and told him to get his butt home…he said OK, he’d be right home. Well, needless to say, by 12:45 hubby was screaming at me and wanted to know what I was going to do as this kid was just playing us for fools and doing what he wanted regardless of what we said. I said that I would take care of it when he got home. Hubs wanted to know what  was going to say, what his punishment was going to be, etc., etc. I kept telling him that I didn;t want to fight with him and to stop yelling and badgering me. I said that part of “our” problem was that HE would fly off the handle and throw out ridiculous punishments (month long ones), and then a week later turn around and tell him (and the others) the ounsihment was over. I said we need to think things through and make it “fit” the crime. The kids know that nothing he (hubs) says sticks. Well, after an hour of him yelling and screaming at me, I finally LOST it. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but dammit I told him to stop. When the child strolled in at 1:45, I went ballistic at him He stood there with this F***  you attitude that really ticked me off. so we did agree to take away his cell phone, no going out and no internet for a week. When he refused to tell us who he was with and why he was out so late, we added a week to it, mainly because of his attitude. This morning Hubs tells me to take the child’s cell phone to work along with the cable adapter so he can’t get online. Well, I got tied up at work and had planned on going to the grocery store on my way home. Well then the phone calls started, Michael wanted his cell phone to call the child who was driving the car that killed the friend. Now mind you, this kid is NOT supposed to be calling anyone, yet he did call my son the other day. I remindded him that he is punished from the cell at which point he then demanded to go out and hang out with his friends. I again reminded him of his attitude and refusal of obeying his curfew on Sat. After that, I kept getting calls from the others (even the one at college) telling me that Michael was going ballistic and if I didn’t get home to give him his phone by 5:00 so he could call this kid, he was going to run away from home. My response was, I would not be threatened by a child and that I still had to go to the grocery store and I wouldn’t be home by 5:00 (it is now a little after 4). So now, we are faced with yet a nother dilemma, what to do with this out of control child. Hubs is all set to take let him join the Marines at 17 like he wanted to. I am thinking of looking at some kind of boarding school (which I can’t afford, but son’t know what else to do). This child thinks he should do as he pleases, when he wants with no consequences at all.  I let him get away with this and what happens to the other kids? Meanwhile the older son in college is upset because he has a bad feeling and thinks he (M) will try to hurt himself. He said that M told him he was going out this weekend whether we like it or not. Tomorrow, I am calling his counselor at school to see if there is anywhere we can put him. I’m not sure if the death is finally hitting him, or talking to the driver of the car is upsetting him, but he is not getting batter and I feel like he has us over a barrel. I can’t control whether he stays in the house after school as I work, he could take off and not come home until he wants to. Most his friends drive so he has the means to get away. SO I feel helpless, yet I know we need to do something, just not sure what.

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I hope you can take a deep breath and exhale slowly and find a place of peace so you find answers that help. I pray and hope for everything to resolve for you.

January 31, 2005

Maybe you can get him in a work study program in which he is constantly getting supervised and is responsible for something in his life, after school and before if necessary. The Marines my not be a bad idea either, he would hate it in about two days and would be dying to come home. Kids never appreciate what they have until it is gone.If you really feel he will hurt himself then he has to…

January 31, 2005

institutionalized under observation. He may need to be put on some type of med to calm him down a bit. it sounds as though he is very depressed about his friend. I am sorry you have to endure all this and the yelling does not help.I will be praying for you all. if you even need to talk please call me or IM me. I will listen without judgement *HUGS*

February 1, 2005

ryon: Don’t worry I am getting child support AND maintenance payments until I can support myself. No need to worry about me, I’ll be fine 🙂