Some Answers, More Coming

Hi everyone,

Wow, I am so impressed by your questions! They are really thought provoking. I am answering them in the order I received them.

QUESTION #1

.Have you ever considered participating on a dating website?

Yes I have. I have even posted profiles on 2 different sites and have gotten several responses. I still have my profile up but I never go there. I didn’t feel a spark with anyone and most of them pay no attention to my dating criteria, or they live a million miles away, etc.

I have met a few people in person that I knew from chat rooms. Back in the mid 90’s I was really into AOL chat rooms. That was before the rooms were filled with nothing but robots and horny men. It actually used to be fun and I usually frequented the same rooms each night so I made friends. I ended up talking on the phone to some of them and even went out with 4 or 5 of them over the course of 2-3 years. None of them ended badly but there were no great romances either. I did end up seeing one guy for about a year and really liked him. He lived about 2 hours from me so it was difficult to see a lot of each other and we just sort of drifted apart.

I also met my ‘Latin Lover’ Marcos in person after talking to him online for almost 2 years. Long time readers may recall how I met him through my friend Cathy (he was her neighbor in GA), we got to talking on the phone and the computer. He was deployed for a year and we continued our friendship while he was overseas. He convinced me to come to GA to meet him when he came home. Although we had a great time, and have continued to be friends, I have not seen him again in person. It was a great experience though and I’m glad I went through with it.

And that’s the extent of my online dating experience. I wouldn’t say I’ll never try a dating website again, I’m just in no hurry to do so.

QUESTION #2

What stands between you and being able to work in the field of addiction recovery in some capacity or another?

This particular question made me do some serious soul searching and I would expect nothing less from the person who asked it .

In case anyone doesn’t know, I am a recovering alcohol and drug addict. I will have 11 years of sobriety come September. And the truth be told, if I could have ANY job in the world, it would be in the field of addiction and recovery.

So what IS stopping me?? Well the ‘dig down deep and tell the honest truth’ answer is simple – it’s me. I am the only thing standing in front of achieving this goal.

And that’s the big picture. The little picture is the things I need to do in order to move towards that goal. The biggest obstacle to me going out and getting any job, is my health. Plain and simple, I need to be in better health to work outside of my home. I am on oxygen 24/7 because I have lung disease.

And then there is my weight. I am morbidly obese. There I said it. And it wasn’t easy. But it’s true. And let me tell you, this is not an easy life. Everything is harder when you’re fat. Things most people take for granted can leave me gasping for breath.. I get stared at when I go out. I have to worry about things like restaurant chairs and will I be comfortable where I’m going. Even things like chairs in Dr’s. offices can be a problem. Believe me when I say I’m not looking for sympathy, but understanding would be nice. I know I earned every single lb. all by myself. No one forced me to overeat.

The good news is, that another health crisis (diabetes) has forced me to take steps towards losing weight and being healthy. I talked about it a few entries back, the changes I am making. And it’s working. I have lost almost 20 lbs. so far by following Weight Watchers. I love the program, the support and the accountability. This plan is working for me.

I firmly believe that losing a significant amount of weight might allow me to cut down on my oxygen, maybe even get it to night time use only.

I also want to get back into the AA/NA programs. I used to attend meetings all the time. But then as time went on I drifted away from them. I would love to go back and lead some meetings again as well. I used to lead a women’s meeting every week and I loved it. I could also make myself available as a sponsor. For some reason, until recently, I never thought of doing these things as a way to get back into the field. And let’s not forget, the meetings would help me as well. I have never walked away from a meeting without learning something.

So that’s my plan. Keep working Weight Watchers and get back into AA/NA. Feel free to hold me accountable to this!

Thanks for the questions – I’ll answer the rest soon, I promise! (((((((hugs))))))))